On Love

Alain de Boton's debut novel is by far and away one of the most perceptive books I've ever read. Although de Boton is trained as a philosopher, he fuses his observations concerning relationships with an engaging plotline. The plotline isn't what makes the book, however. Instead, it's his perceptive and uncanny insight into each stage of the relationship, from its inception to its demise. And while it is obviously related to one relationship in particular, his ability to universalize the romantic experience is one of the biggest strengths of the novel. For example, he argues that "most people would throw away their cynicism, if they could; the majority just never have the chance." I read this book with a highlighter and so did most of my friends. And I don't even highlight the books I"m supposed to read for school. If any book is a must read, it's this one. Everyone who wants a relationship, is in a relationship or who has ever had a relationship should read this book.

I stumbled across De Botton's book years ago in book store, but didn't have the patience to read it (ugh, I didn't like philosophy in college, why read it again?). A friend recommended How Proust Can Change your Life to me a few years back, but I forgot about that too. Then, reading Joe Epstein's Snobbery (which is filled with Proust quotes), I ventured out and started my de Botton education with On Love. What a tour de force. I found myself laughing and cringing in acknowledgement of the universality of the situations. As one who deconstructs love much like our nameless hero (although without the classical references, I tend to use TV as source material), I found this book refreshing and honest. He realizes in the end, that falling in love is indeed folly, but the kind of folly that makes heroes. Read this wonderful book.

Alain de Botton really got famous around the time of How Proust can change your life and he's cemented his reptuation with his new book The Consolations of Philosophy. Both of them are great, but recently, I found this book, his first one, and I was completely, I mean, completely blown away. If you've read and in any way enjoyed de botton's past books, I think you'll love this one. It's got all the strengths of his writing; the analysis, the humour, the clarity, the elegance. But it's also got passion, it feels like you're reading the private thought of a man in love (in a good way). It taught me so much about myself, it reminded me of things I'd felt, but perhaps never been able to express. It made me feel a sense of community; like when you put down a book and think, 'Hey, I'm not all alone, there's someone out there who thinks like me.' It REALLY annoys me that the way publishing works, the best books sometimes never get promoted. Why were there ads all over the New York Times for de Botton's Consolations of Philosophy, but nothing for this one. This book was published in 1993 and sank without trace. It's published by Grove Atlantic, when actually, it's the kind of book that deserves to outsell Nick Hornby. I hear in Britain de Botton is really really well known; and I guess that's the way it should be. Anyways, On Love is a terrific read. To my mind, BETTER than his last two books; much better and fresher and more heartfelt. Go for it.

If readers don't want to think about love (or wince from personal recognition), they have no one to blame but themselves. De Botton's title serves as sufficient warning as to what this book is about. Young or old, straight or gay, anyone who has ever submitted to the experience of falling in love is bound to identify with either the narrator (who sounds remarkably like the de Botton of HOW PROUST CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE) or his beloved, Chloe.As I read this book--which includes chapters entitled "The Subtext of Seduction," "Marxism," "The Fear of Happiness," "Romantic Terrorism," and "The Jesus Complex"--I kept puzzling over de Botton's subtitle, "a novel." Was this tack something he chose as a way of preventing friends and family from offering advice and consolation (which are usually self-serving and misplaced), or as a way of preventing ex-girlfriends from seeing themselves in the relatively pleasing portrait he paints of Chloe? Whatever his intention, he has stetched the definition of the novel in an interesting way. The basic love story between the narrator and Chloe travels its predictable path in an uneventful, but quirky, way. Neither comes off as a villain or victim, though both can be quite nauseatingly cute or petty at times. Through it all they remain convincingly human and we are drawn into their foibles, insecurities, squabbles, and desires. In short, they "live" as fictional characters. Even the narrator's hyper-reflective attitude is not bothersome. These analytical reflections read like diary entries; but the reader has evidence that the narrator has the good sense not to let Chloe know how much time he spends THINKING about his feelings for her. And it is these reflections, after all, that make the novel such a fun and thought-provoking experience for the reader.

This is the English edition of what in the US was published as ON LOVE: it is quite the funniest, most intelligent book I have ever read on love. Please buy it, and you will see what I mean