Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life

This is the BEST BOOK I've read so far on the EMOTIONAL aspects of being engaged and getting married! Before I read this book, I was freaking out about getting married and everyone around me was so "oh you're so lucky," and "oh, how's the wedding planning going?" And "wow, aren't you just the happiest ever?" And you know what, yes, I am lucky and I am happy, just not 100% of the time. The wedding planning is great, but beyond that, there's a marriage about to happen here and that's sometimes scary and often very emotional...but in our society, we're not allowed to talk about that...it's all about the wedding and planning and the ring and so on...and that's all fine and dandy and great....but in reality, it's a big huge life change that is unlike anything else in the world! I think when people get engaged there's this misconeption that it's ALL fun and games and ALL happy go lucky times...and that's just not true. Yes, this IS the happiest time of my life, but it's also, much to my suprise, THE MOST EMOTIONAL TIME OF MY LIFE!!! This BOOK MADE IT OKAY TO SAY THAT...this book made it "normal," to feel that way without apologizing for it or feeling like I was wierd. I have such a SENSE OF PEACE now that I've read this book! It's very CALMING and RATIONAL...even during moments of irrationality!!! LOL! This book is very well written and thought out and it's full of absolute truths! This book reminded me that being engaged, while happy and wonderful, is also the single biggest life change one will ever make (aside from becoming a parent, of course)! I laughed and cried while reading this book and I read it one night, because I simply COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN. This books makes it OKAY to FEEL ANYTHING....from happy and great to sad and crying...it talks about the mood swings, the other relatinoship changes you go through (parents, family, friends), the reality of day-to-day life with your fiance (probably more fighting than usual) and most of all, this book, for me, held a mirror up to me, my emotions and my life...and as it turns out, I'm not that crazy after all! It was so COMFORTING to know that I'm not the only one who feels the way I do about being engaged...and best of all.... This BOOK ALLOWED ME TO ENJOY MY ENGAGEMENT more than ever before! This book has allowed me to get EXCITED about planning my wedding and getting maried.... and not be so scared about actually doing so. This book has allowed me to look at things in perspective and realize, yet again, that I do want to marry my fiancee' and my cold feet has/had NOTHING to do with him what so ever....it's normal to second guess yourself and your fiancee' and it's also normal to have an identity crisis too!!! While reading this book, I realized that this is all a big huge normal phase and I'll adjust...it made me grateful to feel what I'm feeling becuase now I can name it, claim it and move on. If you're engaged and feeling overwhelmed, stressed, sad and even depressed, please don'

Amazing! I thought I was completley insane for being sad only 2months into my engagement with 13 months to go until the wedding. If you are stressed or sad during your engagement or know someone who is, this book is a must read. Allison Moir-Smith destroys all the myths about weddings and planning them. My favorite is "a wedding is just a big party" to which she responds "Really? How many parties have you gone home from with a husband who can make life or death decisions for you, a new branch on your family tree and possibly a new last name?" She also explains that if you are obsessing over certain aspects of your wedding, there is a reason for it. I'm still stressed, but much better equipped to handle it and take a step back and realize that this is an emotional time in my life and that it's ok to let emotions...ALL of them in.

I am so grateful for this fantastic book. I was going through some intense challenges leading up to my marriage and Allison's book saved the day! I managed to articulate gracefully and transform family relationships that were at an impasse. Now, I'm two weeks away from my wedding and feel confident that I have all the tools I need to enjoy my wedding day and be fully present. I have read several bridal book and this is one the one I put at the top of my list. It is witty, intelligent and inspires one to be a better person, full of love!

Discovering what it "really" feels like be to engaged--after years of watching romantic comedies and dreaming about my own far-off, future wedding--was truly one of the biggest surprises of my life. Sometimes, being engaged to my beautiful, wonderful fiance felt blissful and exciting, like I always thought it would. But at other times it felt absolutely terrifying, and I was convinced that I was starting to go crazy. Even worse, my family and friends--so eager to discuss with me the minutest details of wedding, dress, flowers and cake--acted uncomfortable or changed the subject whenever I tried to explain how I was "really" feeling. If this sounds anything like you (or someone you know), read Moir-Smith's book. It's not the only book out there on the topic of women's transitions from single to married life, but one of the things that sets Moir-Smith's book apart is that it's so enjoyable to read. Even as she discusses the decidedly unromantic emotional challenges newly engaged women face, the author maintains a cheerful and optimistic tone, helping anxious readers remember that this IS an exciting time and that marriage IS something to look forward to. Reading the book was like having the benefit of a professional counselor and a wise and supportive girlfriend all in one (Moir-Smith shares her own engagement and early marriage experiences throughout the book). I particularly appeciated Moir-Smith's discussion of the positive emotional adjustments that can accompany the first year of a healthy marriage--it doesn't HAVE to be a gloomy period of post-wedding depression (by the way, I am now nine months into my marriage and loving it!!).

No one tells you about the rite of passage that commences once you're engaged and transitioning from single to married life. Hollywood would have us believe that we should be a bundle of giddy joy from dawn to dusk. You should be happy - grateful even - you're engaged! But, in fact, like any major life change, it requires adjustments, and Allison Moir-Smith is a lifeboat in choppy waters. She explains just how normal it is to have the feelings you're having, and knowing that you're not alone and that what you're experiencing are normal growing pains helps immeasurably. Easy to read with lots of helpful exercises (check out the "cold feet alerts") that help you discern whether your feelings are simply fear or whether you should head for the hills. Freaking out? Not sure why? BUY THIS BOOK! I've read a few of the books available on this website - if you can only pick one, this is the one.