Embracing Persephone: How to Be the Mother You Want for the Daughter You Cherish

In a time long ago and far away, the god of the Underworld, Hades, abducted Persephone, daughter of the goddess Demeter. Demeter grieved so deeply that the lush vegetation of Earth died. Hades eventually returned Persephone for six months of every year. During this time, Demeter's joy allows the plants to again grow. Traditionally, this has been the story of why we have winter and summer seasons. Virginia Beane Rutter has another interpretation of the ancient story. She says "this myth directly invokes your relationship with your adolescent daughter as you brave her exciting but terribly risky passage to becoming a woman." Rutter is psychotherapist and Jungian analyst, with two children of her own. Embracing Persephone is her third book. In it, she provides a wealth of advice, strategies, and wisdom for coping with the critical adolescent years. Rutter emphasizes throughout that mothers must grow along with their daughters. Mothers dealing with their daughters' issues often find themselves dealing with their own issues as well. She offers lots of encouragement, saying that "being aware of yourself and your daughter does not mean that you will handle every situation perfectly." Her focus is on establishing and keeping an ongoing relationship with daughters. She says that "to have any influence over your daughter, you must value your relationship more than your need to control her." This can sometimes mean permitting her to do things you'd prefer she'd not do. The key is teaching daughters to accept responsibility for their choices. Rutter discusses issues such connecting, even when conflicts seem unresolvable, body image, sexual exploration, and drugs and alcohol. Each section includes examples from real teenage girls and their mothers of how they handled some of their expectations and conflicts. Adolescent girls face monumental challenges. Because of the way in which the world has changed, many of these challenges are different than those experienced by their parents. Embracing Persephone "will help you identify the issues that trigger conflict with your daughter [and] provide you with strategies for keeping your relationship open." It's a book that belongs in every household with a teenage girl.

I am a psychologist working with adolescent girls. I also have a 12 year old daughter, and I have been in the field of adolescent psychology for the past 20 years. This is one of the best books writen for mothers and daughters. This book breaks the false belief that mothers and daughters must have conflict. Embracing Persephone illustrates the depth and spirituality of the mother daughter relationship while interweaving sound psychological advice through many vibrant examples. Rutter is a very possitive author with hope and faith in the mother duaghter relationship. This book also reveals the strength in girls. One of the most satisfying books to read about possitive deep relationships between mothers and daughters. I have recommended it to many friends and clients.