Elder Rage 2/E: How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents

Jacqueline Marcell is the perfect person to help those who must care for aging parents. She has been there, done that. She is an ideal guide through what is often a limbo of survival by hook or crook because she has a sense of humor. Marcell teaches by example. With a light heart she tells of her own experiences with an aging father and with a system that can be far more exasperating than dealing with her difficult father. The light heart did not come easily. Because of the hard-earned know-how Marcell shares in "Elder Rage," the process will be much easier for you. This book has been endorsed by many self-help gurus including John Bradshaw and Bernie Siegel. It has a succinct and well-written addendum on treating dementia by Rodman Shankle, MS, MD. He is the former medical direct of the University of California at Irvine's Alzheimer's Center. Occasionally Marcell lapses into lingo that may be too hip for some; because of that, it might not be understood by some of those in-between generations who aren't suffering from Alzheimer's (yet!), but mostly the humor comes through loud and clear and does exactly what it should do. Pain and love are often inextricably intertwined; following Marcell's story is like reading any good memoir. Because it's told from the heart, we identify and learn and then learn some more. -------------(Carolyn Howard-Johnson [author of] "Harkening"

As a student of Gerontology I was anxious to read this book. I laughed (Jackie is a wonderful writer) and cried as I read about Jake and Mariel Marcell. I found this book to be very insightful and agree that it is a must read for anyone who is dealing with the elderly or even studying the subject. Jacqueline Marcell writes in such a way that the reader cannot help but get caught up in what is happening and feel as though you are experiencing everything she is going through first hand. I applaud her for her strength in dealing with her parents (especially her father!), the many caregivers she had to screen and a system that needs a real overhaul when it comes to dealing with the elderly and what is really needed.She has gone through a lot and thankfully she is sharing what she has learned with the rest of us by writing this book, creating a website ..., and doing speaking engagements.

After reading ELDER RAGE which was recommenede to us by my Fathers doctor, I have found new courage to deal with this " disease" that taken over my father. I was about at witts end and did not know how to cope, then I found that I was not alone and my family was not alone in the struggle of taking one day at a time and never knowing how to deal with and how to handle his rages, and how much medical knowledge you need to care for a loved one in the hospital and get then from there into rehab and then home to where every minuet of your time is consumed with details. This is a wonderful book and will help anyone who is dealing with eldery loved one. Thanks again for all the help it has given my family as we take care of my father.You just dont know how many lives you have touched.Sue LongFlorence,Al

Thank you, Jackie, Oh Jackie. I really thought that I was losing my mind until I read this book. I never thought that my mother was probably in the beginner stages of Alzheimers', or dementia, and that is probably why her behavior is so illogical and downright violent. I'd like to take her to the doctor, but I doubt if she would go. She probably is very scared herself of what is happening to her. At least I know now not to blame myself, she is very good at making me feel guilty about her condition. Thanks again, Jackie Oh!

Today, we live in such a fast-paced society, forever balancing our own homelife and that of our children, with work schedules, school events, household chores and multiple obligations. All of a sudden, we find our own parent(s)who were once so strong and reliant, have seemingly become the child and the roles have reversed. It is a natural instint of children to want to please their parent(s), so out of parental love, and with a heartfelt sense of gratitude, responsibility and obligation, we take on the additional role of caregiver, mentor, teacher, advisor, and confident to our aging parent(s). Jacqueline Marcell has a way of making you feel sane again, and at the same time, her wit and writing style will capture your heart and help you to understand you are not alone. Each of us must deal with the situation in our own way, depending on our financial situation, available resources, position in the life's cycle and the allowable time we have to take on the extra responsibility. However, the first-hand experiences of someone who has "been there and done that" can help tremendously. Over the course of ten years, I watched my father regress, through cancer and age, from a strong, independent, brilliant, business professional to a babbling, hallucinating, demanding, dictator. There comes a time, when constant, professional, around-the-clock care is required, that it may necessary to place the parent in institutionalized care. That decision, in itself, ususally leaves the family with mixed feelings of love and guilt, frustration and betrayal, and a host of other unanticipated, gut-wrenching emotions.This book helps put the "rage" and other mixed emotions in a much clearer perspective, and leaves you with the understanding it is a natural reaction to feel all those things, it's how you deal with those feelings that is important. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is caring for, or anticipating the care of, an aging parent(s). It probably will not change the inevitable chain of events, but it may bring a sense of balance to your life.