Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation

I have read quite a few parenting books, and until recently I considered Faber & Mazlisch's books (including How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids will Talk) to be the absolute pinnacle. But if Faber & Mazlisch are like a college course in parenting, Becky Bailey's book is graduate school. I am deeply grateful to her for writing this book, and to the friend who told me, "You have to read this book! I want to load up an airplane with copies and drop them all over America!" Unlike many parenting books which just offer tips and tricks for gaining children's compliance, Bailey's book is aimed at helping parents achieve self-control and self-discipline, so that they can then teach these skills to their children. When my friend first told me about the themes of the book, I thought, "Oh great. Just what I need--a book to make me feel bad about how out-of-control I am, how angry I feel towards my kids, how much I yell, etc." But it wasn't that way at all. Reading the chapter on "Assertiveness," for example, I realized that I do not need to feel guilty about my anger; I just needed to make a switch from saying to the children, "YOU are MAKING me furious" to saying "I feel furious when you yell in my ear. You can talk to me in a quiet voice, and I will listen." The first expression implies that children are responsible for their mother's feelings. The second lets me express my feelings, set boundaries, and give the children the information they need to make better choices. Since reading the book, I feel better about myself and my children. It has strengthened my feelings of self-respect as well as helping me treat me children with respect. I look forward to applying my new skills in my adult relationships as well!

As a parent, teacher and parent instructor am thrilled about this incredibly helpful publication. The most common complaint I get about discipline is "What worked for me as a child is NOT working for my children!" Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline is a step-by-step process of learning new ways to unhook emotionally from your child's button pushing. It also gives the exact words to say in a variety of typical conflict situations where you usually find yourself speechless and confused. Becky has a great way of communicating because her information is easy to read and makes soooooo much sense! Becky reviews the seven components for becoming a more powerful and effective parent without acting like an emotional nut. This is a hard book to put down. You will be so thankful for this masterpiece!

This book is not your average, every day parenting book! By using a win/win scenario, Dr. Bailey not only carves out a highly effective and user-friendly program demonstrating for parents the "seven basic skills for discipline", but she teaches us as readers how to find our own sacred selves first. This in turn teaches us as caregivers to center ourselves prior to engaging in any discipline encounter. By being brutally honest Dr. Bailey guides us through this process by giving often hilarious examples from her own life, and step-by-step procedures on how to master the "seven powers for self-control". Just when you think you have a question that Dr. Bailey has not answered, she pops up with just the scenario you had in mind and walks you through it. A whole chapter models her program with specific examples using children at different stages of development. At the end of the book, a seven-week program is mapped out in a concise and easy to follow format. I highly recommend this book for anyone who not only wants to improve their relationship with their children, (nieces, nephews, grandchildren) but who may want to improve their relationship with themselves.

This book offers an interesting concept and I can tell you from firsthand experience with my 12 year old, that what Dr. Bailey offers really does work. One of my best friends is presently reading the book and has started applying what she is reading to her parenting of her 6 year old and she is amazed. The down to earth writing style,the real life examples,the 7 week program and the "what ifs"page are helping me become the parent I want to be. I used to spank, I used to give "time out", I used to yell alot and I used to feel absolutely horrible after all of these incidents. I grew up and thought I turned out fine but after reading the book, I realized there is a better way and it's not about punishment and giving in...it's about turning times of conflict into times of teaching. I feel so much better about myself as a parent. And as a result,I am a better parent. Success breeds success, literally. I don't know how any parent could get along without Dr. Bailey's 7 basic skills of discipline. I urge every parent to buy this book. It should be in the gift basket every new Mother takes home from the hospital, tucked in with the Pampers.