Dwell in Peace: Applying Nonviolence to Everyday Relationships

Although it shows its age a bit (Rollo May, for example, is one of the authors frequently cited) Ronald Arnett's *Dwell in Peace* remains a wonderful little book for anyone committed to nonviolence. Its primary value lies in its taking the discussion of nonviolence to the everyday. Most of us, after all, will never serve as soldiers. But all of us have to deal with violence or the threat of violence, psychological or physical, in our daily interpersonal encounters. Leaning heavily upon Martin Buber, Arnett carefully and sensitively explores the "between" space of relationships that opens up the possibility of genuine dialogue and genuine reconciliation.To my mind, the most important part of Arnett's treatment is his discussion, in Part III, of "self-fulfillment." He argues that too frequently our quest for self-fulfillments is actually narcissistic. In our hunger for self-discovery, the great temptation is to focus on self at the expense of wider considerations. Even when we think we're dedicated to causes outside of ourselves, we may be using them as opportunities for self-interest--which means that we'll drop them once we no longer find personal satisfaction in them. because we become fixated on "finding ourselves." But genuine peacemaking, Arnett points out, might in fact demand a sacrifice of self-fulfillment for the sake of others. Sobering words for a self-indulgent age, but ones that the advocate of nonviolence ought to take to heart.All in all, a very good and still timely discussion of the nonviolent alternative. Read it alongside Walter Wink's *The Powers that Be* or anything by Dorothy Day.