Dumb Things He Does / Dumb Things She Does: How to Stop Doing the Things That Drive Women / Men Crazy

This book has a lot of great ideas. Some of the stuff really hit home, especially when it comes to my behavior. And while this book did bring our attention to things we needed to work on in our relationship, it really in truly didn't go that in depth on how to start changing. Knowing you need to change is a big start, and wanting to change is even bigger, but going about it is something else entirely. Especially if that behavior has gone on for so long that it's habit and it's even worse if you grew up watching your parents in the same type of situation. Then it's a learned behavior and even harder to break. So, I really would have liked more information to help me get started with my baby steps to a better relationship. The one thing I least enjoyed about this book was just how much the author pushed God. I have to admit that I wouldn't have gotten this book if I'd known about that first. The author pretty much said that if you believe in God and follow the Bible, you will have the groundwork for a better marriage. And I'm sure that that is absolutely true for a lot of families. I beleive in God, and I consider myself very spiritual but I don't particularly care for the Bible. And I can't even mention God to my husband; he grew up in a very disfuntional Catholic household. One other thing I disliked was the authors penchant of putting the husband "first" in the family network, with the wife submitting to the husband. She likened it to a employer/employee relationship. I'm sorry, but that really bugged me. I love my husband very much, and I respect him but a marriage is an equeal PARTNERSHIP. We each have our roll in the marriage but neither is more important than the other. Besides, neither one of us is suited to lead and it's that struggle that's gotten us in this fix in the first place. We've only recently come to the conclusion that we're in the same boat so to speak and that we need to each stop trying to row in opposite directions and work together if we're actually to reach our goals together.

My husband and I were at a used book sale when I found this. I picked it up on a lark. We were on a long trip travelling by car. Begrudgingly he agreed that I should read it aloud while he drove. So much of what she wrote rang true! We have read it three times since. When things are getting tough and tempers short I bring out the book. I recommend reading it aloud. Each of you reading the part for them to the other. Then discuss it. We have found it terribly helpful.

My wife spotted this book and said "Here! You need this!" half-joking. Seeing as the front of the book just states "Dumb things he does". After a minute looking through the contents, I turned over the book and saw the back. "Dumb things she does". I said "lets get it" and promptly showed her the "women's" side of the book.While acknowledging that not all couples are the same, the author give some excellent examples from her marriage and others she has come across. The sections on my responsibilities as the husband and making sure my wife was the most important thing, not work were great and of significantly beneficial.The section on "Growing Up" was good too. It highlighted quite a bit of my behaviour as "childish" which I needed to dispense with.This book has shown me a significant number of things that I was doing wrong and a few things I was doing right. It has increased the quality of my marriage and I would recommend it to any couple. Just make sure you both read it!

Holly Wagner is such an amazing speaker and author, so easy to follow and so practical. This book really gets to the heart of issues in the most easy to read way. Get ready to read about yourself - and find the best way to change those bad habits! Your relationship can be saved (even before it needs help) and this book is a GREAT start.