Dude, You're a Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High School

My book came on time and was just as the seller described its condition, I was very pleased.

This is a fantastic book! It's easy to read, insightful, and incredibly thought provoking. As a teacher and as a man (not that this is a requirement), I whole-heartedly recommend this book to all those interested in society and our schools' reflection of it. It's a great contribution. Thank you.

This book is a must read for anyone who wants to understand the punishment males receive througout their lives at the hands of sexism, patriarchy, homophobia and heterosexism. In my book, 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Find Real Love I write: Being raised male in the heterosexist culture means avoiding and distancing yourself from being viewed as gay in any way. Gay is synonymous with effeminate. This is inherent sexism, as if being associated with anything female would denigrate you. In our culture, being male is a privileged status, and anything else is viewed as inferior. A number of times I've had a straight man notice my wedding ring and ask if I'm married. I'll say, "Yes," because I am. When he asks my wife's name, I pleasantly correct him and tell him that I'm married to a man whose name is Mike. Often, the guy steps back and immediately exclaims, "Dude, I'm not gay!" He may then proceed to ask, "Why did you choose to tell me you're gay?" as if I had a sexual motive, or tell me he was "grossed out" by the idea. Now, I never implied that he was gay by telling him I was, nor did I have any ulterior motive. I was simply correcting him, just as when people wish me a Merry Christmas. I nicely tell them I am Jewish; whereupon they usually respond politely by saying, "Oh, sorry! Happy Hanukah!" I've never seen anyone back away, exclaiming, "Dude, I'm not Jewish. Now all I can do is imagine you in a yarmulke in synagogue and I'm grossed out. You're trying to convert me?" "Dude, I'm not gay" and "Dude, You're a fag" are both ways to distance one's self from anything "less than a man" in Western Culture!

I am ordering a copy of this book because I believe that this is a very important subject that exposes a major problem in our culture. Our society tells men to never be emotional and to be as heterosexual as possible through actions, thoughts and speech. Men who do not conform to this mold are ostracized. Women are also imbued with this idea that such one dimensional men embody "masculinity", which causes them to devalue themselves in a quest to live up to the male-defined societal standard of hetero-sexiness. No one can have authentic, deep relationships in a world where everyone is acting on such a narrow script. If there had been a positive force in my life to show me how damaging this process was I likely would not have withdrawn from the world and developed a sex addiction by trying to create a fantasy life through the computer. I think I would not have been emotionally detached from my wife and nearly ruined my marriage that way. I could have avoided the severe depression I experienced in high school and the intense social isolation I felt as a result of having bisexual fantasies. I think that teachers, guidance counselors, parents, and other adults in a position to influence the minds of teenagers should pick up more books like this in an effort to better understand the damage that popular mores (such as gay bashing, hypersexualized media, etc.), when unchecked, have on young adults.

Pascoe, C.J. "Dude, You're a Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality in High School", University of California Press, 2007. Schooling, Gender and Sexuality Amos Lassen and Literary Pride As a professional educator (on the university level now but I paid my dues as a high school teacher), I first heard about this book and was very interested in reading it. Published by the University of California Press, this book is a serious look at our gay teenagers. The title seems, to me at least, a bit playful for such a serious subject but be that as it may, the book, "Dude, You're a Fag" has a lot of information in it that is original and valuable. As it looks at both gender studies and masculinity, it is a readable way to learn about the problems of the soon to be members of the gay community. Now that we are older, we realize how difficult it was to deal with masculinity ad gender issues when we were young. It was different back then when I was growing up and discovering my sexuality. We had no role models, we had no organization and most of us felt that we were the only ones. C.J. Pascoe spent eighteen months in the field in a high school that is racially diverse. Her conclusions on the nature of teen masculinity and sexuality are presented here. It is known that it is the high school that helps us gain a sense of gender identity--in fact it is the place where we, in many cases, become aware of who and what we are. We also know that high schools are places where rumors and slurs are passed out at the speed of light. It is interesting how anyone can gain gender identification in high school when teens today are humiliated so easily. Fears and anxiety also come into play in the high school of today. It is troubling to consider that boys become boys because they are abased and abashed into a masculine identity. What causes masculinity to take hold is peer pressure--we want to be like the crown so publicly we behave like everyone else---or so we did. As Bob Dylan sang, "the times they are a-changing". A book like this should be on every student's and teacher's reading list. It is so important that we know about and understand the construction of gender and sexuality. We must not assume that because of age and experience, that schoolboys cannot discuss class, gender and ethnicity. Not only can but they do. Pescoe looks at homophobia as well and her research s so lucid that it invites us to think about the identity of gender formation, gender practices and gender equality (or lack thereof). In using the scientific method to approach her subject, Pescoe gives us a great deal of background information a well as a hands on approach for learning how to deal with the issues. Kids are not hiding their sexuality as we did--they are open and proud--such a change from my school days. The naiveté of youth is wonderful even though it may not always be practical. To see kids today embrace their sexuality at such young ages reflects ho0w far we have come as a community. Th