Drinking: A Love Story

I hadn't read this (again) for several years when I pulled it out last week. Of course it's a little different now, knowing Ms. Knapp has passed. Yet the same message. The same denial systems. The same clinging to rationalization. The same system of blame. But a great honest, truthful, candid story of the journey. What did stun me however was the number of negative reviews. Why did you pick up the book to begin with? Did you leave your reading glasses in your purse and you thought the author was Danielle Steel? You misread "Caroline Knapp" and thought it said "Sue Grafton?" James Patterson? Is that how you were mislead? Did you write your review before you read the book? I speak with some considerable insight about the experience, strength and hope of someone telling 'their' story. And no, I don't believe that AA is the only answer to staying sober if you have the disease. There are other ways to do it. Dyer and Bradshaw have some other suggestions. There are rehab joints that don't push you into AA. There are halfway houses that don't assume or demand attendance at AA. A lot of Judges sentence you to 90 in 90 at AA and you have to come back with signed sheets when you are on your 2nd or 3rd DUI or DWI. Those judges probably know something you don't but I wouldn't venture a guess what that is. But what I am certain of is that there is no one picture, not one behavior, not one description, not one story, not one event of an alcoholic. Some are abused, some are arrogant, some are quiet, some don't get it, some don't stay sober, some don't care about the "why," and some just find peace in telling their story. That's it. You see for those of you fighting the program, they have to tell their story in order to keep sober for the next 24 hours. So Caroline Knapp tells her story and Holy Cow, you just want to stand up and applaud. You Lady Macbeth protesters, it's not about the what and the how she got here, it's about being here. I'll continue to read 'her' story every couple of years. It's not my story but it's inspirarational. I find strength in it. I find hope in it. And those of you who think she's being melodramatic, that she's on the pity-pot, that she's using her poor wealthy childhood to sell books, well, we'll save a chair for you at the tables. 5 stars. Larry Scantlebury

As much as I loved this book, I doubt it will impress people who aren't alcoholic or dealing with an alcoholic. Had I read this book in college, I would probably have sympathized with her problems but ultimately thought she was simply flaky and needed to just stop doing the stupid things she describes - not that complicated. As it is, I read this book when I had become fully aware that my own relationship with alcohol had ceased to be simply "great when it's around - like a good meal" and begun to be compulsive. The absence of a drink became an 800 pound elephant in the room, and I noticed that at some point I had stopped enjoying being sober. For me, that was when I realized I had crossed a line and that drinking was no longer cute or funny. Somewhere along the way, it had managed to insinuate itself as the center of my life, even though I never would have admitted it out loud. My first thought when invited to a social event was whether alcohol would be served. My first thought when going out to a meal in the evening was whether they had a liquor license. I had mentally divided my friends into drinkers and non-drinkers, and I had managed to do so without believing there was anything weird about this. That is the subtle tug of alcoholism that Ms. Knapp exposes. To everyone around the alcoholic, it is obvious that there is a problem. To the alcoholic, he simply wants to suck the marrow out of life, and can't understand why people aren't with him. Yet, if pressed, most alcoholics will admit that their life stopped being happy right around the time they started drinking regularly (it is a depressant, after all. This shouldn't be surprising). They will have what Ms. Knapp describes as that "a-ha" moment when alcoholics consider the possibility - obvious to everyone else but new and original to them - that they do not drink because they are unhappy. They are unhappy because they drink. Ms. Knapp's book is ideal, and potentially life-saving, for the intelligent, highly-functioning alcoholic who has not yet done anything so stupid that they are forced to recognize what everyone else in their life probably knows. This book could be the catalyst that allows them to head their problems off at the pass, because alcoholism ONLY gets worse. There's a well-known speech about alcoholics in AA that includes a memorable phrase about what it feels like to be alcoholic - "the worst part is, people will never know how hard we tried". Many an alcoholic can identify with this - no matter how many times alcohol has kicked you, it is the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life to quit. Trust me on this and respect the next recovered alcoholic you meet. Had they had a choice, they would rather have walked across the Sahara. But they took a deep breath and tried to do the right thing for themselves and others. Like so many reviewers of this book, I regret that the author died before I could personally thank her for the insights this book provide

I was browsing in a bookstore waiting for my comet photos to be developed when I saw this book on the "New" shelf. I started reading, and then put it back when it was time to pick up my pictures. But I couldn't stop thinking about this book, so I went back and bought it. I read it at the kitchen table while drinking a glass of wine. Alarm bells kept clanging and clanging. When I got halfway through, I realized I was just like her--a highly educated writer with a drinking problem. She has a great line in there--that sometimes insight is just a reversal of cause and effect. I don't drink because I have all these problems, I have all these problems because I drink! With horror and tears, I called a friend I knew in AA who brought me to a meeting. I've been clean and sober now for 5 years. I read in the NY Times today that Carolyn Knapp died yesterday from lung cancer at only 42 years of age. That makes me very sad. I feel very grateful to her and her wonderful book. It changed my life.

This book changed my life, and I just wish I could thank Caroline Knapp personally. I guess I was in denial for a long time. While in a bookstore, I plucked her book off the shelf, feeling the need for some sort of literary intervention and thinking it was a short read. I started reading it with a glass of wine in my hand. As I read, I realized with horror and some degree of sadness that she was describing me, along with countless other women in the same position. From the recyling bin to the lies, I could relate on almost every level (I was not one to end up in bed with strange men). It took courage for me to read the book through to its end, and to realize what I had to do. I called my mother and told her that I was an alcoholic. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Both my grandfathers were alcoholics, and my mother has always "wondered" if this were passed on to any of us. I decided that I would quit, with the help of family and friends, before I got to the point where I hurt or destroyed someone I love. I haven't had a drink since. I urge anyone who feels that they might be in denial to read this book and see if they can identify with the author's point of view. I thank Caroline Knaff for opening my eyes and pointing me in the right direction. I'm not sure that people who DON'T drink to excess will get anything out of this book ... I wouldn't believe half of it if I hadn't done these crazy things myself......