Dreams of Love and Fateful Encounters: The Power of Romantic Passion

What are the TWO [yes, there are ONLY 2] things that kill love? Ethel Person tells you -- 1. loss of idealization [you stop making what is good about "The Other" GREAT... and you start making what is bad about the other HORRIBLE] 2. failures of empathy... [you start caring about your OWN self more than the other person's... wellbeing, feelings, future]... selfishness rears its ugly head again --- once you think about it, she is absolutely right... she nails it... i hesitated to give away the answer on this... except, believe me, that is only 1 of 100 fascinating insights in this book - it is still worth buying and reading... i just reread it over the summer 2006 - i've bought a gajillion for friends and clients over the years... we ALL want love desperately... learning more about it doesn't de-mystify the magic at all... it just helps you not be a fool for love... or a fool period... read this... and Nathaniel Branden's "The Psychology of Romantic Love": and you'll have a good start on understanding "What's It All About?" --- the best money and time you'll ever spend - HONEST!

I am so surprised to see the two reviews that are critical of this book. I would give this amazing book 6 stars if it were possible. I have been unable to put it down -- it's like a life-changing gift to my mind -- because of its highly intelligent, thourough writing, and the depth with which the author approaches the subject of love, and humanity in general. This engaging book validates the importance of romantic love, whether lasting or fleeting, and discusses the fascinating intricacies involved in feelings that accompany love as it begins, evolves and ends -- and it does it with a mixture of warmth and wisdom, like no other book I have ever read (and I read a lot on this subject). The writing is clear and well organized -- you know immediately that the author is a brilliant, highly cultured person -- not some shallow pop icon/TV personality, or a mediocre therpaist who has no knowledge of other disciplines. I would've loved to be Person's student. She shares her vast knowledge with us in a way that leaves us much richer than before. Her examples of various love stories are not boring at all (as one of the reviewers stated) -- they are drawn from high class literature and films, and from the history of human civilization -- they are timeless. With all due respect, I think that the readers who did not appreciate this book must have very short attention spans and could not lift themselves to the level of this book.

Dr. Person skillfully demystifies romantic love and answers the most fundamental questions associated with the topic. Through excellent literary and contemporary references, her points are well examined and accessible to the average reader. This is an absolute must-read for anyone attempting to understand what makes us fall in romantic love; Dr. Person anticipates your questions and explores every conceivable facet of this fascinating topic. I highly recommend this book!

A masterful treatise about the mysteries of romantic love. Person shares her insights through personal anecdotes and use of illustrations from novels and films. A joy to read as you experience the pleasures -- and especially, the pains -- of romantic love. I highly recommend this book to the more non-judgmental reader who is looking for more than just a self-help, quick fix to solve the problems of love. Something to explore time and time again, and to find new truths in with each new love you encounter.

In the era of self-help, many have tried to write of love romance, & sex. None succeed to the extent that Person has in this fine text. By identifying romance as an act of imagination, a quintessentially psychological act, Person delivers the insights that can enable the cognitively oriented lover to achieve transcendence while keeping one's feet on solid ground.