Don't Forgive Too Soon: Extending the Two Hands That Heal

We all want to forgive. The authors begin with this assumption but also with one that is not as readily embraced - it is a process. They proceed to explore helpful ways to move through the stages and dangerous self talk or advice within each of their articulated stages. Certainly among the most helpful books I have found on this topic :)

This discussion of forgiveness and its relationship to the five stages of grief is very helpful to anyone seeking to resolve conflicts in relationships past and present. The book is useful in helping the reader discover deeper issues of unforgiveness and gives careful and helpful guidance as to how to resolve these issues. As a professional psychotherapist and Christian counselor, I found the insights meaningful and the entire book encouraging as to the hope it offers for healing hurts in relationships. Parents, partners, friends, spouses, teachers, counselors and others will benefit from the sage counsel and practical advice.

This book reinforces the idea that forgiveness is a process, and shouldn't be entered into lightly or too soon. The use of Kubler-Ross's 5 stages of death provides an easy to understand framework for assessing where the reader might be in a current forgiveness process, and is also thought provoking for assessing one's general understanding of forgiveness and it's place in daily life. The book is easy to read, and follows philosophically the attitudes expressed by the authors in "Sleeping with Bread..." I highly recommend this book to families, counselors, and clergy, as well as to individuals looking for help with the difficult and growth-producing process of forgiveness.

I highly recommend this book for anyone with the need to work through forgiveness. It is written in a disarmingly simple, lightly humorous style, but the concepts it expouses are very powerful. Claiming that any hurt is like a "mini-death", the authors use Kubler-Ross's five stages of bereavement - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance - as a framework to work through the forgiving process. At the same time, the concept of the two components of nonviolence, resisting evil but at the same time wooing the evildoer, is introduced as a creative way to foster reconciliation. The book is religious in nature, but by no means oppressively so. It will be beneficial to persons of any or no religious persuasion. A delightful book.

The Five Stages of death and dying are applied here to help one get with the healing of self, as well as others, in order to Forgive. Even better,in the process of reading this book, one is given lots of "creative" ideas on how to handle conflict and communication in direct, healthy, and non violent ways.