Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart

This book is refreshingly revolutionary, disarmingly candid, and expertly succinct. It is an excellent primer on a complementary approach to masculinity and femininity. It is less daunting than the similarly-themed Piper and Grudem classic Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, making it easier to both read and recommend. Ensor addresses a wide range of topics for a relatively short book, including sociological trends, singleness, sexual purity, and marriage. These are all discussed in the context of explaining patterns of biblical manhood and womanhood. Ensor writes with warmth, understanding, clarity, and humor. It is obvious that his knowledge of these topics has been forged in the trenches of real life. Tim Challies, part of whose review is featured on the back of the book, writes that "this book is a refreshing reminder of the Bible's simple wisdom governing love, relationships, marriage, and matters of the heart." In essence, Doing Things Right... is just that - a light shed on the simple wisdom already in the Bible in reference to these matters. It is worth reading whether you are single or married, young or old.

In a day where so many relationships end up destroying the heart, John Ensor, a key figure in establishing pregnancy help centers across the U.S. and around the world, invites newly-weds, singles, and those engaged to a counter-cultural way of doing relationships by being a man and being a woman. The book is divided into two parts: Matters of the Heart (where he defines manhood & womanhood and discusses what the heart desires, needs, and lacks) and Doing Things Right (where he discusses the God-given gender-unique gifts for males and females). Laced with classics from Shakespeare to Donne, brimming with personal stories from his marriage and his work in pregnancy help centers, and pointing to examples in culture, John Ensor weaves these together masterfully with Scripture, creating a compelling book on biblical masculinity and biblical femininity. Whether single, engaged or married, this is a great and easy read that will encourage you to do things right in matters of the heart. Highly recommended for those who are engaged.

John Ensor really knows what he's talking about. He's practical and down-to-earth, and he's actually one of the first authors who convinced me that Biblical submission doesn't have to be a frightening prospect. I highly recommend this book.

I have read many, many books on the subject of courtship/relationships from a Christian perspective...I've read a lot of books about marriage and the biblical way of carrying out a marriage relationship...I have been to courship/relationship and marriage retreats and seminars...this is by far the BEST book I've read on the subject! Ladies and gentlemen, if you truly want to do things right in matters of the heart, please, please read this book and pass it on to others. God bless you John Ensor for bringing these truths to light!

We live at a time when relationships are increasingly marked by the awful dictum of meet up, hook up, shack up, and break up. This describes too many relationships, too many hardened hearts and too many ruined lives. But as John Ensor says and as observation bears out, this pattern "bankrupts the rich treasure trove of love itself." It does not work and it is time for young people to revolt against the times. The antidote to the times is to rediscover the biblical formula for manhood and womanhood, to turn back to the Creator and to his manual to discover how He desires we live as men and women. In Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart Ensor does just this, sharing what he has learned about biblical manhood and womanhood. The book's objective is "to provide a winsomely radical alternative to the prevailing ideas, almost absolute doctrines, that guide our current thinking about manhood and womanhood and define our actions and expectations when pursuing matters of the heart." The book's purpose (and I'm not sure how a purpose differs from an objective) "is to provide you stone with which you can fashion a strong, enduring, and satisfying plan for doing things right in this most tender and precious matter of the heart." In the first part, "Matters of the Heart," Ensor defines biblical masculinity and femininity as they are presented to us in the Bible. He gets to the heart of manhood and womanhood asking what it means to be a man or a woman and what is distinctive about being one and not the other. He asks how men and women complement each other and fit together. Having answered these questions, he turns to "Doing Things Right," showing the way the Bible outlines how men are to live as men and women are to live as women. He shows how men and women are to relate to each other and are to interact with each other on the basis of their equality and symmetry but also on the basis of their differences. The chapter titles tell the story. * He Initiaties...She Responds" * He Leads...She Guides * He Works...She Waits * He Protects...She Welcomes Protection * He Abstains to Protect...She, to Test * His Unmet Desire Drives Him toward Marriage...Hers Is Rewarded with Marriage * He Displays Integrity...She, Inner Beauty * He Loves by Sacrificing...She, by Submitting * He Seeks His Happiness in Hers...She Seeks Hers in His * His Is the Primary Provider for the Family...She, the Primary Nurturer The book is written from a personal perspective and in such a way that he encourages the reader to benefit from his learning curve. While he leans on the Bible as his authority, what he teaches is often punctuated by words like, "What follows is what I honest think is the right thing to do..." and "I take this to mean..." He gives examples from his life, allowing the reader to learn and to laugh with him. The sum is this: God has given us each gifts but, with our own reasoning and assumptions we've wasted them by doing thi