Do Me Twice: My Life After Islam

In the modern world, society is often casting men in dominant roles over women. Growing up a woman in the Muslim religion, Sonsyrea Tate learned quickly that she was expected to conform to the same subservient role. Why do we create "command and obey" roles in a sexist fashion? Shouldn't a man and a woman treat each other as equals in a relationship? Tate worked a job on top of a full college course load, and took care of all the domestic chores such as shopping, cooking, and cleaning while her man did nothing. Yet she was still expected to be subservient to his wishes. There is not much sense in an equation such as that and as she became aware of that, Tate would question her religion and her rights as a woman. Sonsyrea Tate is a woman who grew up practicing the Muslim religion, but who had Catholic grandparents. She sees both religions as outdated sets of rules that give men power over women, heavily favor procreation, and force marriage at a young age in order to prevent pregnancy out of wedlock. As she begins dating the boy next door, Ron, she is forced to sneak around and conceal her newly blossoming sex life under a cloak of lies and guilt. After she becomes pregnant at the age of 16, she immediately opts for an abortion without telling anyone but her best friend. She eventually gets married to Ron simply to relieve her conscience of the guilt that religion was piling on top of her. As their marriage progresses, their situation simply becomes worse. She takes care of all the responsibilities that a husband and wife should take care of equally, while Ron remains unemployed and often does not return home for whole nights and sometimes even multiple days. Yet, upon his return she is expected to fulfill his every want and need. She knows that this is wrong in her heart and she undergoes a journey of self-discovery that will change everything she thinks she knows. The purpose of Tate's book is to shed light upon some of the major flaws with religion and expose the sexist sense of values that religion sometimes creates. She is writing this book to connect with women. She wants to show as many women as she can that religion can be extremely important to women, yet they should be proud of their womanhood. She wants women to understand that they are not objects created for man's pleasure, but equals as she takes a stand against today's stereotypes. One of the main focus points that Tate constantly returns to is the role of both her father and her uncle in her life. She tells her audience that they were both her soldiers and they were both ripped from her reality. At a young age, her uncle withered and passed away from multiple sclerosis and her father was arrested and sentenced to prison. She admits that in her young state of mind, she unconsciously needed a male figure in her life to protect her and so she began seeing Ron. Many times, Tate seems as if she is very close to contradicting herself at certain points. She says th

I truly enjoyed reading Sonsyrea's memoir. What I loved most about this book is how she tells her story with candor and honesty. The transformation she makes from a young girl raised in Islam, questioning her very existence and everything she's been taught, to a young woman finding her own way in life is incredible. I would definitely recommend this book.

DO ME TWICE: My Life After Islam is not a generic book about the highs and lows of being a member of the Nation of Islam. From her days in Muslim School to her guilt-trip marriage and her exit from Islam, Sonsyrea Tate reveals a poignant personal history unlike any "coming of age" or "coming to religion" story ever told. Tate unveils the dark secrets that controlled her childhood, yet strangely liberate her as an adult. As she becomes comfortable with her own sensuality, she realizes just how much her sexual identity has defined many of the dramatic periods of her life and the life decisions she's made. Against the backdrop of colorful, dysfunctional family and the author's lyrical style peppered with raw realism, DO ME TWICE is a hands down keeper. Reviewed by Cxandra for The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers

As a child, Sonsyrea Tate, affectionately known as "Ray-Ray," has no idea of the trials and tribulations awaiting her in adulthood - but she sure gets plenty of indicators: her father's devolution into a drug-dealing transient, her mother's overbearing animosity, her extended family members' overall dysfunction...the growing cloud of unhappiness in her life often leads her to imagine sunnier times and places not too far away (or so she hopes). On top of everything else, her beloved Uncle Hussein, a cherished role model and mentor, is slowly degenerating into a veritable shell of his former self. His body ravaged by the grueling onset of Multiple Sclerosis; the protection of his gentle, loving spirit long gone from Ray-Ray's life. Watching him suffer, she finds herself racked with questions and doubts about the benevolent, fair nature of God, and - seeing the righteous so afflicted - she begins to wonder what the point is of serving Him at all. As her life proceeds, she endures abortion, infidelity, a tumultuous marriage (even multiple instances of marital rape), and eventually the incarceration of her husband, Ron. With Ron gone, little Ray-Ray finally has the freedom of time and space to evaluate her life on her own terms and begin her transformation into the full-grown Sonsyrea. Enrolling in college, Sonsyrea then sets out on a new path, one that challenges her previous long-held beliefs and alters her vision of how her own future should take shape. The journey proves to be difficult, but one she remains determined to make for none other than the preservation of her own sanity and peace of mind. Do Me Twice is an excellent treatise on the power of self-discovery. Much like Siddartha, Dust Tracks On A Road, and Jonathan Livingston Seagull before it, Tate's story of emotional & intellectual awakening does a commendable job of confronting the misguided teachings that typically shape our youth with the learned truth and experience of our later years. Regardless of our personal religious or philosophical leanings, it cannot be argued that we are raised to follow particular doctrines designed to guide/control our behavior and bias our thinking processes. In her narrative, Tate tells of her admirable journey in combating those very doctrines time and again as they are espoused by family, friends, and even strangers committed to challenging her newfound independence. Refusing to return to the "sleepwalking state" of her past, she bravely defends her right to think for herself - and her life becomes that much more rewarding for it. Tate's emigration from the often confusing rigors of Islam may be a sensitive topic in the global political climate of our times, but the symbolism of her spiritual quest is an invaluable lesson for the ages. With a critical, yet open mind, by her personal example she successfully encourages the reader to be not afraid in coming to individual conclusions regarding all matters great and small. Highly recommended.