Discovering Sexuality That Will Satisfy You Both: When Couples Want Differing Amounts and Different Kinds of Sex

I've read the book 3 times over 12 years and maybe the newer additions still in print are better organized---there are problems with this one but it's short and you can skip around. If you're savvy on self help, start in the middle. What this has that is priceless and I found no where else has little to do with a couple that wants differing amounts of sex, it's this: to pay attention to what emotions you may be avoiding by initiating sex, because you can't avoid them, they ruin the sex AND the rest of your life. So yeah you end up sometimes "using sex" for therapy, and yeah she doesn't give you details on HOW to become self aware of those feelings and how to find a therpist or mate who's not so triggered by what you're doing with their own stuff that they shut you down...but how can she? The chapter on self loving is priceless and frees you from that "Ican't find anyone to do it with" block.

After years of sexual addiction, ..., going to adult books stores, I engaged in sexual healing. Anne Stirling Hastings' books have helped me understand what I can do in order to discover what kind of sex is possible now that I have given up this crazy kind. I didn't know it was possible to love my wife so much, and that sex could SEEM so ordinary while it is vastly better than the old kind. I have discovered that the passion that can occur with little physical stimulation is of a different nature than what I got when having sex after watching a porn video, or having sex for the first time with a conquest. I recommend this book for anyone who really wants to find out what sex was meant to be, what it can be. My shame is greatly reduced. I don't engage in sexual jokes or inuendo any longer.

This is the best paradigm shift on the subject of sex that I have read. The commercial standard that sex is portrayed in our society is revealed for what it is. The reader is faced with the choice to continue in that frustrating vein or open the mind to the possibilities of resusitating the natural sexuality that is in all of us.

This is the most perceptive and well written book on sexuality that I have read to date (and I have read quite a few). Anne Hastings' book is filled with insight and information.