Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

I really, really love this book! There are a ton of books out there on technique, and books on what to do in the metaphorical bedroom, but this isn't one of them. It isn't a titillating erotic read. It's a book about the psychology, sociology, and philosophy of BDSM. Multiple viewpoints about multiple parts of the lifestyle are presented. The authors draw from interviews with all different kinds of BDSMers. It explains a lot about WHY and not a lot about HOW this lifestyle occurs. I literally can't put this book down, and I already have three friends in line to read it!

I didn't give this 5 stars because it will sit alongside War and Peace on my bookshelf...not that I think Tolstoy would mind. It does deserve praise, however, for helping out an open-minded person who is just beginning to explore the world of D & S. The purpose of the book seems to be to explain the broad world of dominance and submission in a serious-minded way; This isn't erotica. Interesting interviews with practitioners of this lifestyle are included. If any potential readers out there are like me, they were looking for a book that would show that D & S fantasies are no stranger or "unhealthier" than sex limited to the missionary position. I wanted to catch the broadest view of the spectrum of the D & S lifestyle as possible, and I think that the authors succeeded in delivering that. The book includes information about fetishism, transgenderism, as well as other areas that might be considered on the "fringe" of sexual tastes, but they are nonetheless illuminating for anyone who'd like to expand their knowledge of these practices.

This book is fun to read and extremely informative to people who know little about alternate styles. A lot of good, rational people harbor some kind of S & M fantasies and beat themselves up about it (pardon the pun). This book can be a real godsend to them.It describes many different things including spanking, bondage, domination, etc. Is it informative for people who have lived the BDSM lifestyle for a long time? Well, I don't know. But I would STRONGLY recommend it for a person who harbors fantasies that he/she is uncomfortable about.

I been involved in a true 24/7 BDSM Lifestyle for the past 25 years. Most of the books written on the subject were either pornographic in nature and/or lacking in the true understanding of the proper dynamics in a healthy consensual BDSM Lifestyle. This book is WONDERFUL. I completely agree with every aspect of this book. It is so well written and so informative and accurate.I usually do not read BDSM books because so many books are filled with fantasy/nonsense. This book was refreshing. My slave and I read a chapter at a time and discussed the topics. I enjoyed the authors interviewing REAL people in the Life. You may not like/enjoy all the activities in each chapter (who does!) but it is worth reading about and expanding your mind. I give this book an extremely high rating and feel that the novice out there would do her/him self a service to take the time to read this book. Even for those weekend warriors out there.......you can learn from this book. Pleased in Texas

Human sexuality has a much wider spectrum than we've been taught by the propaganda we're force-fed all our lives. I learned that once, when I came out a dyke at age 19, and I learned it yet again when I came out into BDSM last year at age 40, never before having put two and two together between BDSM and the fantasies I've had my whole life long. I kept them secret because I was ashamed of them. If there's one thing this book did for me, it was to help me realize I wasn't so unusual, wasn't a sicko after all and had no cause for shame. (Yeah, yeah, I know some readers of this review will disagree -- so what, get a life.) Many of the kinks discussed in this book aren't my kink, but the lesson is there: we are vast in our expression and in our needs. I wish the understanding contained in this book had been made available to me, and to everybody else, a long time ago. It would have prevented much needless suffering, especially that horrible suffering of feeling forced to hide oneself from one's loved ones. Besides that, it's a good and informative book about BDSM and the BDSM scene, though if you're looking for "how-tos", that's not this book's purpose.