Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?: Trusting God with a Hope Deferred

I recently finished reading a book on singleness. It's not the kind of book that I'm usually drawn to. I read hard-hitting theology, meaty fiction or compelling non-fiction. I particularly avoid this genre because experience has taught me that I roll my eyes approximately three times per page (I suppose that shows my own degree of sanctification ... but I digress). Historically, I find myself thinking that these books are written by women who are trying to convince themselves that they're okay. I could summarize them as: "I'm okay. I'm Okay. I'm OKAY, right? Okay? Anyone? Anyone?" Carolyn McCulley is different in "Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred" (title is courtesy of her pastor, Josh Harris). She is not a single woman in search of identity and meaning; she is a woman whose identity and meaning are rooted in Christ ... and her situation happens to be "single." As I said, I usually avoid these books, but I actually sought this one out after reading an article about beauty and later learning that it was an excerpt from this book. Carolyn McCulley examines the single life in biblical categories that transcend the "single Christian woman" genre and that show that the whole of Scripture speaks to me, as a daughter of God who happens to be single at this stage of my life. And so the book slides back into a genre that's more comfortable for me: hard-hitting (but imminently practical) theology. As hard-hitting theology, McCulley makes five points that I consider for essential for every identity=Christian-situation=single woman out there. I'm working on internalizing this list: 1. Trusting God with a hope deferred. 2. Contentment while we wait. 3. Faithfulness to sow for the future, even when we're in tears. 4. Graciousness to rejoice when others receive what we would like to have. 5. Humility to pray to be a blessing, rather than to receive a blessing. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I've already recommended this book generously (I'm sure there are a few people who are sick of hearing me talk about it; good thing I've finished it!) -- I think it's essential reading for every Christian-woman-whose-situation-is-singleness, and also for people who are in a position to counsel or encourage single people (e.g. there's a humorous list of things NOT to say to single women at weddings). Here are a few more brief reasons why I recommend this book so highly: * She is Gospel and Christ-centered. what Christ accomplished through his life, death and resurrection has a direct impact on the way I live my life as a single woman. She tells us how and models it in a humble and humorous way. * She emphasizes the sovereignty and the goodness of God in our singleness. Remember: these two characteristics of God go hand-in-hand! I think single people are particuarly susceptible to believing the world's lies about relationships -- especially less-than-subtle hints to "broaden our horizons" and then we'll find a man. Carolyn reminds u

Ms McCully writes with humor yet loaded with hope, vision and purpose for the ever increasing number of Christian single women in our world. A unique voice, charged with personal self-diclosure, integrity to take on the authenticity of life for the Christian woman today, and armed with biblical truth to separate and discern what a unique gift single life is and to infuse vision and courage and finishing the race with faithfulness. This book is full of insight and hope, not a book to pick up if you want someone to console your pity, rather a book that genuinely takes on the very real challenges and temptations in our culture with integrity, even within The Church, for the Christian woman today. Sin in this book is sin. Good is good. Right is right. Godly is godly. By far, the best part of the book is the hope it instills that we can walk faithfully, gratefully and with a heart of praise. Here are the chapter headings. Table of Contents: 1. "You're Still Single?": Hard questions, Godward answers 2. Esteeming the Gift: Why the Bible calls singleness a gift and for what purpose 3. God's Quiet Providence: God is still working when nothing seems to be happening 4. A Woman of Noble Character: The priceless worth of a virtuous woman 5. Do Him Good All the Days of Your Life: Why guarding your heart before marriage matters 6. Respected at the City Gate: Observing and serving the men around you 7. Food From Afar: Having a love for the home and hospitality when you're oftne gone 8. Out of Her Earnings: Wisdom in the workplace with an eye on eternity 9. The Blessing of Children: Investing in the Next Generation 10. Deceptive Charm: The heart issues of beauty, aging, and Worldliness 11. Wise Speech: The impact of women's words for building up or tearing down 12. Reaching Out to the Needy: Subduing self-centerdness through serving others 13. Laughing at the Time to Come: How to finish well in a youth-oriented world

I recently read Carolyn McCulley's book, Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? I was pleasantly surprised and inspired by her genuine candidness and honest approach to what can be such a sensitive subject. She dives into the topic of Biblical womanhood with refreshing purposefulness, emphasizing that no matter in what stage of life a woman might find herself, God has good plans for her to walk in that are meaningful. McCulley's writing is laugh-out-loud humerous at times and also extremely heartfelt as she writes of her own life and the struggle that women face as they wait for marriage and family. I also found very helpful insights for married individuals on what not to say to single women when they are trying to help them. I highly recommend this book. There is not another one on the market like this! Enjoy!

This is a very refreshing book for single women! It talks about ways many people view singleness based on our culture and society. The author honestly and humbly shares her experiences as a single woman...with humor added that keeps you wanting to read the next chapter. The Scripture passages shared in this book will remind you that God is in control, and that He will give you peace and joy.

Carolyn McCulley's wit and wisdom shine through in this practical guide to living the godly single life. She consistently points single women longing for marriage back to Jesus and back to the cross. Most helpful were her chapters on the Proverbs 31 woman, she made it clear that the virtues of a married woman have to be the virtues of a single woman first. Her personal anecdotes are hilariously helpful as she humbly shares her life to make her application of scripture clear. I have learned much about loving God more, and living my life for his glory from Ms. McCulley. SOOO glad this book was written!