Defusing the High-Conflict Divorce: A Treatment Guide for Working with Angry Couples

In "Defusing the High-Conflict Divorce," the authors get underneath the surface of high-conflict divorces and describe the types of dysfunction occurring in these families -- dysfunctions which are often not recognized for what they are by legal or mental health professionals. Problems in both the legal and mental health fields that contribute to our dysfunctional adversarial system of divorce are outlined. The authors share information about the kinds of interventions that work and those that don't, in resolving the underlying issues in the family. Throughout the focus is on reducing the parental conflict so that parents are able to meet their children's needs. This book is crucial for legal and mental health professionals who work with divorcing families. It can also offer hope to divorcing couples that there are alternatives other than litigation for resolving conflict.

Couples who divorce and stay angry at each other, making ongoing demands and endless accusations, creating volatile situations around issues like child custody, and refusing to be reasonable no matter how much professional guidance they get are a drain on legal and therapeutic resources. They're a major pain for counselors and court personnel, whose efforts are wasted when the feuding exes behave like irrational children. This book's four authors pooled their expertise in dealing with high-conflict divorce cases to create a resource for other helping professionals. The result is a savvy guide, brimming with common sense and cool-headed ways to resolve conflict and reduce the frustration of toxic post-divorce relationships. How can you help this couple manage their anger toward each other? How can you get them to put their children first and encourage them to be reasonable with each other? How do you keep them focused on issues, and not each other's personalities? These are a few of the important questions answered in this frank, perceptive volume. The book begins with an eye-opening overview -- incorporating solid research and the authors' own clinical experience -- of what really happens when ex-spouses with children keep fighting. A discussion of dysfunctional patterns that helpers are likely to encounter follows, detailing categories such as co-parents who put their kids in the middle of their fights; substance abuse in one or both exes; one or both ex-partners being accused of mental illness; and other varieties of wheel-spinning pitfalls that cause a lot of collateral damage. There are illustrative examples and a wealth of practical advice here about how to deal with these challenges. Another part of the book offers an insider's view of the legal and mental health systems that deal with high-conflict divorces. The emphasis is on key figures, like attorneys, judges, and clinicians, who can influence a combative situation toward either peace or escalating war. The authors explore alternatives to litigation and stress proven interventions (including a highly successful program developed by Price and Margerum) and demonstrate how helpers can get involved in high-conflict cases without finding themselves sucked into the maelstrom of post-divorce bitterness. This is a clear, astute resource sure to boost the confidence and optimism of anyone responsible for sorting out the complications of high-conflict divorce.