Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst

This book has an excellent premise: the only way to deal with difficult people is to change the way you respond to them. Think about it. Do any of us ever do what we want to do all the time? Of course not. How many New Year's resolutions have we broken? Well, if we can't control our own behavior for our own good, how can we control someone else's especially when that person's obnoxious ways satisfies some perverse need? Some books on interpersonal conflict recommend that the reader resort to planning biting comebacks or simply ignoring the offending party. Rick and Rick offer more positive and healthier solutions (such as being more empathetic without being a punching bag) that if implemented will help the reader stay sane when under attack and eventually learn to stay above the fray.

If you're a manager and have to deal with the day to day complaints and conflicts of a workplace, this is the best book I've read about it, without question.I'm a leadership consultant and my firm spends a lot of time mediating conflicts and facilitating meetings where I have to get people on the same page. I have formal training in negotation, and mediation, and all that other more formal stuff. And a lot of it works. But the question I get asked over and over again is "what do I do when the conflict doesn't justify outside assistance? What about the DAY TO DAY conflicts - one of my people refuses to bend her schedule, another won't come in on time, another won't try to work with a sister department, my boss won't give me the resources I need." Well, this is that book. It lays out a simple concept of conflict (other people see things differently from you and therefore act differently), and then does something that SO FEW of the other books do: it tells you exactly what to say and how to say it. I have had my fill of books which tell me to "be nice" or "work towards a compromise". My response is, I know that, but how do I DO that? How do I keep the other person from popping off at me? THIS BOOK does that. It's simple - exactly right for line managers with DAY to DAY conflicts.

This is the finest book I've read on handling difficult people. As a training director for a large company, I've read many books on this subject, and trained interpersonal skills for years. This book is the CLEAREST, most practical book on the subject. The ten types of difficult people are now in my vocabulary, and help me instantly size up a situation so I can handle it better. The authors detail practical steps to take with each style, making it easier to increase your confidence in difficult situations.Most of all the authors encourage the reader to change his or her behavior, and the last chapter even offers the idea of the reader being a difficult person, in order to further reinforce the skills that this book teaches.A real winner, and a book that has helped my career and my sanity.

While I judge the title to be a bit dramatic the information in this book has had a profound, dramatic effect on my life. I have approached the subject matter from the perspective that I'm in control of my relationships, and I can choose my own reactions to someone else's behavior. My own pettiness, as well other poeple's, was dictating some of my behavior, my attitudes, and some decisions too (sometimes badly). Yes, I see myself in some of those 10 personality traits described in the book. I wanted to be free of that nonsense, as well learn ways to have a good relationship with most anyone. This book's value to me has been to help me rise above the daily situations I encounter by helping me see human personality in a structured way. So that I can deliberately behave, react, and interact with people in positive, productive ways. I've been able to find peace with personalities that I've despised. I've found helpful information on how to get along with people who I hadn't a clue otherwise. If you're curious about finding solutions to working with, living with or next door to, or just finding peaceful ways to be around difficult people I recommend this book. I thought so much of this book I sent a copy of this book to a peer. This isn't about short term solutions to heated situations (customer service). This is about building trust and solid foundations with people with whom you have a longer term relationship (longer than 3 to 10 minutes) of some nature. Best wishes.