Daughters and Dads: Building a Lasting Relationship

I was surprised by a couple of the reviews that refer to the Christian content of this book in such a negative way. Yes, there is a fair bit of it. So what? I am not a Christian, I'm Jewish. I'm also a dad with two young daughters, one of whom is a teenager. The content of this book is compelling with regard to it's treatment of the relationship between a dad and his daughter. If you're so threatened by the religious references that you can't see the obvious benefits of this material, I suggest you may have some other issues to deal with. Don't let any of the religious paranoia keep you from buying and reading this book. This book is not trying to turn you into a religious fanatic, or make you become a Christian if you're not. It's obvious the author is a deeply religious fellow, and brings his spirituality into his writing. Why does anyone care about that? The objective of this book is to help improve the daughter-dad relationship, and it succeeds extremely well. In fact, I would be shocked if any dad with a daughter still living at home would not benefit from this book. More importantly, I think any daughter would benefit if her father were to read this book. I've only had the book for a month, and I've already noticed an improvement in my relationship with my daughter. I guess my advice is simple: if you're a dad with at least one daugher, buy the book; read it carefully; ignore the religious references if you're not a Christian; and watch the dramatic improvement in the relationship with your daughter. One day, your daughter may thank you for it.

Even if you subscribe to the Feminist Anthem Rebel Yell (I am a Ms. magazine reader and love Gloria Steinem) ... dads matter no matter how into women's rights you are. I would never have mastered the alphabet, multiplication tables, demonstrated my intellectual capabilities, and watched my back well in every major city I have ever been in, had it not been for the overbearing traditional attitude of my father. It felt like having a personal security guard 24/7 growing up, but it was much better than not... This book tells why... and so do the statistics: Fatherly influence. Children with fathers at home tend to do better in school, are less prone to depression and are more successful in relationships. Children from one-parent families achieve less and get into trouble more than children from two parent families. Source: One Parent Families and Their Children: The School's Most Significant Minority, conducted by The Consortium for the Study of School Needs of Children from One Parent Families, co sponsored by the National Association of Elementary School Principals and the Institute for Development of Educational Activities, a division of the Charles F. Kettering Foundation, Arlington, VA., 1980 Act now, pay later: "Children from mother-only families have less of an ability to delay gratification and poorer impulse control (that is, control over anger and sexual gratification.) These children also have a weaker sense of conscience or sense of right and wrong." Source: E.M. Hetherington and B. Martin, "Family Interaction" in H.C. Quay and J.S. Werry (eds.), Psychopathological Disorders of Childhood. (New York: John Wiley & Sons, 1979) A myriad of maladies. Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness, suicide, poor educational performance, teen pregnancy, and criminality. Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Center for Health Statistics, Survey on Child Health, Washington, DC, 1993. Emotional distress. Children living with a never-married mother are more likely to have been treated for emotional problems. Source: L. Remez, "Children Who Don't Live with Both Parents Face Behavioral Problems," Family Planning Perspectives (January/February 1992). Uncooperative kids. Children reared by a divorced or never-married mother are less cooperative and score lower on tests of intelligence than children reared in intact families. Statistical analysis of the behavior and intelligence of these children revealed "significant detrimental effects" of living in a female-headed household. Growing up in a female-headed household remained a statistical predictor of behavior problems even after adjusting for differences in family income. Source: Greg L. Duncan, Jeanne Brooks-Gunn and Pamela Kato Klebanov, "Economic Deprivation and Early Childhood Development," Child Development 65 (1994). Unstable families, unstable lives. Compared to peers in two-parent homes, black children in single-

I often feel that I am never going to get it right, just like Bill Murray in the movie, Groundhog Day! Being a father to two teenage girls is a roller coaster ride, and sometimes I just feel like I have to get off! But Daughters and Dads has been my manual for raising girls. I have read it several times, underlined, and re-read it. I can no longer plead ignorance as an excuse for not doing my job as a father. I cannot simply say, "I'll just let my wife handle them." I become convicted and jump back on the roller coaster again. I am very thankful for the ministry of the authors and for the book they have given to us! I strongly recommend it to all dads with daughters.

The letters to dads will absolutely touch your heart. I think few men truly understood the significant role they play in the lives of their daughters. This book is sure to awaken them.I think this is a subject that has never been so completely addressed until I read this book. For all father and for their daughters, this title will show you how much we need eachother. The role model many men set for their daughters is the one they will seek out in their adult lives. Therefore, is it any wonder a daughter with an absent or deadbeat dad is more likely to become attracted to men who are zero's?A wonderful gift book for any new father! Sure to provoke insight.

As the father of a 12 year old, I'm terrified at the thought of her entering her teen years. Daughters & Dads is not a "feel good" book. The authors lead you through the mind of a young woman - rational, conflicted, emotional, decisive. Each chapter addresses one aspect of the daughter/dad relationship and uses anecdotes to illustrate success and failure. The anecdotes are a collection of short letters written by girls to their fathers saying things they would have liked to say in person during their adolescent years. The letters go to the heart of their relationship and personally, struck too close to home. I found myself becoming introspective and uncharacteristicly emotional.The authors are experienced therapists who have worked extensively with adolescents and families in a ministry setting. They guide the reader through their examples, interpret, and offer insights. They are careful not to preach to the reader, but also make no attempt to hide the fact that Faith is important in binding the realtionship.I would recommend this for every father who thinks they're doing a great job or, like me, feels there's too much at risk to fail.