Cry Until You Laugh: Comforting Guide to Coping with Grief

Plenty of books advise to work through loss and grief - but how? Now there's a book which tells just how, addressing the needs and expectations of the bereaved and blending in light humor with its insights on how to come to terms with grief. Obershaw has founded and directed The Grief Center in Burnsville, Minnesota: he's worked with hundreds plus conducted seminars and given lectures on grief and death for both professional and lay groups across the country. There are no set 'stages' to the process, Obershaw advises: only 'rocks, boulders' and obstacles which can affect the end results of grieving. Cry Until You Laugh: Comforting Guidance For Coping With Grief points out these obstacles and how to avoid them, tells friends how they can help, and discusses contact, communication, and recovery. One of the best books on the market today, it covers all the points of grief and recovery yet doesn't pigeonhole it into required courses like so many grief handbooks try to do.

I didn't discover this book until 4-5 months after my mother died earlier this year, but it was definitely a Godsend. It's the first grief book I've read that made perfect sense to me from the moment I began reading it and believe me I've read or skimmed through many grief books since my family began dying around me in 1991. I was raised to be aware that I would be faced with the death of people I cared about during the course of my life and I've believed coping with death or loss was just as natural as rejoicing for a marriage or the birth of a baby, but until I read this book I didn't feel my beliefs were really validated. I also learned early in life that humor is 'a friend' and allowing it to help us cope with life's tragedies is a positive thing. Richard Obershaw presents the process of grieving as a natural life event and acknowledges that we grieve for many things in our life--not only the death of a person! These are valuable life lessons and I'll be forever grateful that I found this particular book when I did. He also takes a little more light-hearted approach than some authors which was very refreshing for me and made me feel better about embracing my own humor as I worked through my grief. For me, the MOST important point he makes is that each of us has the power to move forward "through" our pain as long as we face it head on, and "Do The Necessary Work" -- and he makes it clear that it IS work!! I've recommended his book highly to several others who are coping with a death, or any other kind of loss or change in their lives. As a matter of fact, I will be giving it as a gift this Christmas (2000) to a friend whose Mother died recently. I do think it's a must read for anyone who has accepted the reality of loss or change in their lives, and wants to find a way to work "through" their pain to get to the other side where they can reinvent themselves to start a different life. Maybe I should offer one word of caution and suggest that if a person is not 'truly' ready to accept the death (or loss) in their life, then this book may not be as helpful to them at that point. But who knows, it might just help give them a different outlook.

After my mother's death 7 years ago I started reading books on grief and grieving. I stumbled across "Cry Until You Laugh" and so far it is my favorite. It was easy to read, very insightful and it took me another step further in processing my grief. The book also gave me some tools to help others with their grief work. Thank you Mr. Obershaw.