My real name is Petulance Postulate Pettibone.My friends call me Pet.My parents call me Pest.I was a holy terror.I stole.I cheated.I lied.I was always trouble.Instead of giving me attention, my parents gave me money."Buy what you need," they'd say.Really?Where can I buy a parental hug?My folks thought therapy could fix me. Ha I hated being home. I drank. I smoked. I tried drugs. I was rude, disinterested, and unmotivated. My parents sent me away...