Couples Therapy: A Nontraditional Approach

Dan Wile's book is one of the few really good books written about couples therapy. He offers thoughtful, cogent critiques of pre-existing models, (what he refers to as) depth analytic, behavioral, and systems frameworks. As the book was written in the early '80s, these critiques are somewhat dated, especially those referring to systems theory. A lot has developed in the last 20 years in the realm of systemic therapy, moving it more in the direction of collaboration then in the past. What impressed me about Wile's work was how ahead of time he was in presenting a collaborative model. What I find somewhat off-putting is his use of the term ego-analytic to describe what he does. On the whole, I think what he does is to carefully and respectfully unpack the experience of each member of the couple and help to shift them from stuck, adversarial or avoidant positions, into one of joint, collaborative interest in the betterment of their relationship. In many ways he predates narrative therapy and the work of Anderson/Goolishian. I found the book immediately useful and plan to use it in my teaching at the medical center.

According to John Gottman, the prominent researcher and writer on couple's therapy, Dan Wile is "a genuis and the greatest living marital therapist." This classic book on couple's therapy, critiques each of the popular approaches to couple's therapy, then takes the best from each without losing depth. Indeed, he suggests an approach to working with couple's which takes the therapist out of the adversarial stance and into the position of ally, thus, enhancing the process. His writing is lucid and thoughtful, with lots of examples. I have recommended this book to countless graduate students and experienced therapists... all have found it to be brilliant, some going so far as to say it altered their entire approach to couple's work. A must read for marital and couple's therapist of any theoretical orientation. As a professor and therapist myself, I recommend this book highly.