Connecting with Our Children: Guiding Principles for Parents in a Troubled World

As a family therapist, I recommend Dr. Roberta Gilbert's books to clients, as well as give them as gifts to my own family. "Connecting with Our Children" starts with parents in order to understand children. Guiding our children starts with thinking through our own principles. Managing children's behavior starts with adults taking full responsibility for our own behavior. Gilbert's understanding of the larger family system and the larger society in which we raise our children gives her a broad perspective that is rare in the field of parenting. The wisdom in this book could save you a fortune in therapy fees.

Problems with kids? Well, perhaps it is time to pay the price, read a book and figure out at least a few of the many factors that go into children becoming "societies problem." Take back your children through understanding, thats the deal. Dr. Gilbert asks us to think carefuly and to take a more aware and disciplined approach to dealing with our own children. A new way of thinking, Bowen theory may some day revolutionize psychiatry, Dr. Gilbert states. We all hope so. Our families need common sense answers to big problems that seem so much more challenging in today's fast changing world. Dr. Gilbert's stories help us to understand that our stories are not that different. We ar all run by emoitanl process in a so familure ways.They are us and we are them. And as Pogo says I am the answer too. Read and learn. Dr. Gilbert listened, studied and learned. Now we can learn from the stories and her explanations. Dr. Gilber has skillfully stayed away from blame and shame while still adressing responsibility and the big, often reactive issues in society. She points out that parents can learn to think over intense feelings. The possibility of increasing the ability to see what one is doing in the family and then to make better decisions is good medicine for the hopeless. Diagrams add clarity to seeing how difficult situations unfold. The main point seems to be that by increasing the ability to be a more seperate individual people who are very intimate, caring people can be more thoughful in response to upsets in others. Yes,learning to rethink and rework old emotional threats makes for a world of new possibilities. Family challenges may still be with us but to see problems with out blame, to have fun with our children and grandchildren through understanding the impications of the past, ofers us a real sense of hope. Many people's ideas have contributed to the growth of Bowen Theory and Dr. Gilbert gives others credit, so that there are many useful rescources in this book. Try any one of her books, you might like them.

It seems that the greatest problems we face in bringing up our children are drugs, sex, violence, alcohol, and suicide. The best safeguard against all these problems, as shown in several massive studies is the child-family relationships or what is called "connecting." Dr. Gilbert's book is an excellent, highly readable, manual that explains the effective Bowen theory of family relationships and how to achieve the "connection" that is so valuable today in raising children. She also includes a wide variety of case studies and related thoughts and experiences of other professionals. Of special use is a listing of professionals in different cities who are also experts in Bowen family systems theory, which is invaluable to people who are currently experiencing problems and could use some professional guidance. This is a excellent book. Its timing could not be better. I warmly recommend it for new parents, parents with teenagers, and especially grandparents.