Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated

A shame my mother could not live to see this day for she would be so happy and it's all thanks to Nellie Oleson: it took me 44 years to fall in love with a woman but I finally managed. You come to this book knowing that Alison played Nellie Oleson and perhaps knowing that she's still friends with Melissa Gilbert and had a stand-up act, and maybe even you knew about the sexual abuse from the Larry King interview years ago (did anybody else want to go Preston Brooks on that old man when he kept asking things like "was there penetration?" and "who was it?" after she said- repeatedly- she didn't want to answer them? Even if it was just me then I feel no less justified.). By the time you read the book you leave wishing she was on your speed dial. What puts this miles ahead of other memoirs- and not just by celebrities- is that she not only has a great story- carbuncles of them in fact, and you feel she's only raised the first couple of petticoats- but she tells them FABULOUSLY. This isn't just a great child star memoir, it's a great book and I hope it's not her last because the lady has talent. If she were just hysterically funny, or just gave the perfect amount of dish about her co-stars, it would be worth the price in and of itself, but the fact she can drop bombshells that make you gasp and anecdotes that make you laugh so loud you scare your dogs all on the same page. From her parents- so genteely dysfunctional and flamboyant that you wonder how in the world she missed being southern- to the sexual abuse she endured from her brother and not only so bravely shares but does so in such a matter-of-fact way that it is all the more horrifying, to the beloved friend and ersatz husband who battled AIDS when only one funeral home in L.A. would take his body, to her celebrity dish and her experiences around the world as the greatest ringleted petticoated she-devil in celluloid history (Nellie of course hovers over her life like a 7 year DVD set of Dorian Gray), and yet you not only read not a single note of self pity but have the feeling that to pity her would bring Nellie raging to the surface faster than a wheelchair down a hill- she is not just writing a biography of herself but bringing a degree of immortality to characters who need to be remembered. This book does not go in my mental classification system with the memoirs of her LHOP co-stars and other child stars, it gets filed in with David Sedaris and Jeanette Walls and other fantastic Gen-X memoirists. A look at my other reviews will show you that I am not a person of few words, and it is a tribute to Alison that I end this here, because I don't want to spoil the delight of this book for you. Buy two copies- one to keep and one to loan, because you'll want to share it but you won't want to lose your own.

As with many, I went through the list of 'Prairie' books as they were released. As a reader, I do not necessarily look to 'relate' to the author's life, because we are all clearly different, even though I have spent my life in the entertainment business and my work is still in it. What I do look for is the author's honesty in the details they do choose to share. I also like it if the author realizes that not all their readers have shared in their experiences. It is almost like wanting my doctor to talk to me in terms I can understand and relate, rather than in medical jargon. And even me having been in the business for most of my life, I can still read an actor's autobiography and go: "What in the world is he or she talking about?!" First came Gilbert's 'Prairie Tale.' I liked the book, but the author failed to realize that her readers are, for the most part, completely removed from her reality. She relates to the reader as a 'peer,' failing to realize that they will mostly have little clue as to what it is like to be in her shoes (i.e. not everyone can run up to Montreal to find out what their boyfriends are up to). Many readers will also like to know what was it like 'being' in the Little House ambience. Gilbert goes through her Little House years rather fast, so if you blink, you may miss it. This is understandable, because she grew up there, so it became, for her, daily routine, but her audience may be wanting a bit more since this was not their routine, and may be hungry to know more. And it seemed that her book was more a therapeutic catharsis rather than sharing one on one with her readers. Again, understandably so, and the approach she chose, so I took it as that and went with it. Then came Melissa Sue Anderson's book, which in my view was pretty much a waste of paper. She remains as aloof in her accounts as she was with her co-stars in her years working in 'Little House.' What Arngrim would later explain about Anderson in her own book is clearly what I perceived about her reading it. Cold, removed and basically "I am not going to tell you much about me, so do not bother me by asking." Finally, after much waiting, came Alison's book. Since what I knew of her was that she was witty, honest, open and just totally delightful, I could not wait to read her accounts. Yes, unlike some people, I do not hold the actor accountable for what their character does! As soon as the book arrived, I started glancing through it and immediately realized this was going to be an even better ride than I expected! Having finished the book, I have to say that it was even more so. I did not want it to end! She is charming, funny and completely open. She holds little back. But what I liked most is that she talks to her readers not only as 'friends,' but also knowing that their experience is not like hers. Therefore, she makes it clear to understand and relate to. In doing this, the gap that could be there between her and her readers is

As a girl who grew up with Little House on the Prairie, I knew that I would enjoy this book. A Nellie Oleson tell all? I mean, who WOULDN'T want to read that!? And as a behind the scene look at the world of Little House, Prairie Bitch is detailed and funny, with wonderful descriptions of her costars. What I didn't realize when I pre-ordered it was Alison's work for survivors of sexual assault and her background as an assault survivor, along with the work she's done for years in support of people living with AIDS. She took what could have just been a breezy and funny childstar memoir and gave it deep substance and importance.

I recently saw Alison's stand up show and enjoyed it so much I decided to get her book. I honestly cannot put it down. She writes with such wit and humor. I hope she comes to Orange County California so I can have her sign my copy! It is great to hear about her advocacy efforts when it comes to protecting children and also for her work with AIDS related matters. Bravo Alison for all you do and for a truly great book.