Comfort & Joy

Never arrived! Very disappointed ☹️

I must admit to not be a true connoisseur of gay fiction. Some of the stuff I tried reading in the past is a conglomeration of a convoluted plot that usually ends up with the main character sleeping with all of the other characters in the book before the yawner close. However, my boyfriend, who reads far more gay fiction than I, has been steering me around this world and introducing me to gay fiction that's not only rich, but compelling. Thus is the truth about Jim Grimsley's book, "Comfort and Joy".He writes the story of Ford, dashing doctor who's struggling with his identity despite his intense feelings, and Dan, an introverted, kind man with secrets to hide. Off the bat, the pairing of these two characters grabbed me: that the handsome Ford, who so easily could have fallen into caricature, finds within Dan a world of possibilities, not entirely based on appearances. In fact, what initially grabs Ford is Dan's voice, after hearing him sing in a hospital Christmas concert. In fact, Christmas keeps rattling around this couple as they decide to spend the holiday with each other first, and then to travel to meet Dan's somewhat accepting parents in North Carolina. This scenario is played out well, as we know Dan's initial shyness would be such a huge barrier to truly get to know him, that we finally learn more about him through his interesting family. Grimsley here too doesn't fall into stereotypes, but makes Dan's poorer family diverse enough to question Dan's sexuality but still welcome the couple with open arms. As all of this swirls around, the main focus is the couple hood of Dan and Ford. From it comes a sense of honesty, and permanence. You know, despite the major issues they must deal with, the strong undercurrent of their affection and love will hold them steady. In an age where breakups are a dime a dozen, and we celebrate the disposable relationships, "Comfort and Joy" adds its beautiful discordant tone to that chord, and makes for a wonderful, engaging read.

Readers of Jim Grimsley's earlier novels--"Winter Birds," "Dream Boy," and "My Drowning"--might be surprised by the title of his new novel, "Comfort & Joy," for there is little of either in his other writings. But this one has both as Dan Crell and Ford McKinney put their fragile, unlikely relationship to the test of coming out to their families--because they refuse to spend another Christmas apart.Grimsley's style is unadorned and understated. His familiar gothicism is replaced by a modern South with conflict set amidst affluence--the conflict of two men's vastly different backgrounds and their families' vastly differing expectations of them. Their pasts constantly threaten to swallow up their chances. Dan is an HIV+ administrator in the Atlanta hospital where Ford McKinney is completing his residency. (Readers of Winter Birds remember Danny, the hemophiliac child who narrates the drunken binges of a father who terrorizes his family with violence just short of murder.) Ford is the privileged, only son of old Savannah gentility: his parents have his life planned. Like grandfather and father, he'll be a physician and marry into Country Club society. They even pick the girl. When Ford insists he'll make his own choices and may not be the "marrying type," they still don't get it. Dan's mother isn't exactly comfortable with her son's homosexuality, but her life on the brink of disaster has taught her that what counts is the love between herself and her children. That Danny is gay could never diminish her love for him, and when he brings Ford to her trailer in the back woods of North Carolina, she welcomes them. As divisive as the strain between Ford and his family is, the most intense struggles are waged within the lovers themselves as they fight against their own cultures and natures. Both have pride bred in the bone, and Dan's dirt-poor heritage and hemophilia along with Ford's inability to conceive how money could be an issue often threaten to undo them. "Comfort & Joy" is about uncovering the self and discovering a relationship. While every gain is forged in pain, it is a book of hope--a story ending on the day after Christmas full of tidings of comfort and joy.

Readers of Jim Grimsley's earlier novels--Winter Birds, Dream Boy, and My Drowning--might be surprised by the title of his new novel, Comfort & Joy, for there is little of either in his other writings. But this one has both as Dan Crell and Ford McKinney put their fragile, unlikely relationship to the test of coming out to their families--because they refuse to spend another Christmas apart. Grimsley's style is unadorned and understated. His familiar gothicism is replaced by a modern South with conflict set amidst affluence--the conflict of two men's vastly different backgrounds and their families' vastly differing expectations of them. Their pasts constantly threaten to swallow up their chances. Dan is an HIV+ administrator in the Atlanta hospital where Ford McKinney is completing his residency. (Readers of Winter Birds remember Danny, the hemophiliac child who narrates the drunken binges of a father who terrorizes his family with violence just short of murder.) Ford is the privileged, only son of old Savannah gentility: his parents have his life planned. Like grandfather and father, he'll be a physician and marry into Country Club society. They even pick the girl. When Ford insists he'll make his own choices and may not be the "marrying type," they still don't get it. Dan's mother isn't exactly comfortable with her son's homosexuality, but her life on the brink of disaster has taught her that what counts is the love between herself and her children. That Danny is gay could never diminish her love for him, and when he brings Ford to her trailer in the back woods of North Carolina, she welcomes them. As divisive as the strain between Ford and his family is, the most intense struggles are waged within the lovers themselves as they fight against their own cultures and natures. Both have pride bred in the bone, and Dan's dirt-poor heritage and hemophilia along with Ford's inability to conceive how money could be an issue often threaten to undo them. Comfort & Joy is about uncovering the self and discovering a relationship. While every gain is forged in pain, it is a book of hope--a story ending on the day after Christmas full of comfort and joy.

"Why do they live in the same house, share meals together, argue about money and parents, why do they have pets, plant begonias, bring home birthday cakes? Where are the children, where is the sense of permanence, what is the tie that binds? (p.207)" It is in pursuit of questions like these that this that we are lead as Dan and Ford explore how intimate gay relationships are initiated, negotiated, and finally, consummated - in the fullest meaning of that term. How is it that two unlikely beings can come to the point of finding that living can only be complete when it involves both of them; together? It is also a wonderful examination of the fears and anxiety as well as the 'comfort and joy' of both discovering, and ultimately being true to ones self. This is one of the most satisfying novels I have read in years. There is enough plot interest to keep the reader engaged, but the real treasure in this read is in watching the author weave together the delicate fabric of a committed relationship between two men - in a society where this is still not accepted as the norm. We are permitted to feel the pain which is experienced by these two men as they seek to develop a strong and meaningful relationship, but we are also given full measure of the comfort and joy that can come from the effort. Because the novel is as real as it is exciting, it allows the reader to reflect on their own experience with forming and keeping intimate relationships in a way that is as helpful as it is full of power and passion. A great novel not only for gay readers but for anyone who wants to better understand what's involved for gay people seeking to form lasting relationships.

I have to read Mr. Grimsley's other books now. I read "Comfort and Joy" in 2 evenings. I usually am reading 3 to 4 books at a time, but this one caught and kept my attention, mainly because of the gorgeous prose and the similarities to my own life. Everything in this book rang true for me. Coming home for the holidays, coming out to your family and co-workers, the bittersweet, often fragile family relationships, the fear of coming to terms with your own gayness, from the first feelings of desire all the way through moving in together, the parents who will not accept you or your partner, the class differences between your partner's family and your own...all are explored in this poignant, deeply felt novel. This is one of my all time faves now.