Come As You Aren't!: Feeling at Home with Multicultural Celebrations

Should you bring a gift to a Bar Mitzvah? What about an Egyptian wedding? At a same-sex wedding, should you refer to the "bride" or "groom?" These and many other questions are answered in Norine Dresser's "Come As You Aren't," a resource guide to the details and customs of a wealth of multi-cultural occasions. Dresser, a folklorist, Los Angeles Times columnist and professional consultant on diversity issues, discusses holidays for interfaith and multiracial families, as well as cultural celebrations and rites of passage from many cultures, pointing out the "dos and don'ts" of gift-giving, appropriate dress and conversation, even body language (some cultures kiss and touch, among others this is taboo.) Dresser also explains to us the "rites and wrongs" of events such as birthdays, marriages, comings of age, funerals and holidays. There is also a section on gay and lesbian celebrations, and guidelines for families adopting children from other cultures. "Come As You Aren't" is entertaining, readable and full of interesting, sometimes surprising details. I was impressed by the extent of Dresser's research and her insights into the diversity issues facing our rapidly changing society.