Collaborative Divorce

As the matriarch in a very large extended family, where there is much love but conflict may be unavoidable, I read Collaborative Divorce with great interest. I hope my family will not need to use it, but just in case, I bought a copy for each couple around me. Bitter divorces are expensive, painful, they create long-term resentment, and make it difficult to raise healthy children. The damaging effects of failed or thwarted love can and should be avoided. That is the point of this book. According to the authors, when there is a commitment to integrity, ethical behavior, clear communications, and constructive problem-solving, a divorce should be a solution and not a cause for more entrenched conflict. Collaborative Divorce shows there are smarter and kinder ways for a couple to part. ISABEL ALLENDE

The authors have succeeded in creating an easily accessible and remarkably complete guide to thinking about and managing this difficult process. The combination of legal and emotional insight will resonate strongly with anyone who has participated in divorce and goes on to skillfully guide the reader through the alternative. Clearly there is a better way and this work hits on all the different aspects, how to approach them and the high value of avoiding the legal process. This is a must read for anyone contemplating divorce. The outcome will be a dramatically better experience, better settlement and an easier path to the rest of one's life. Top rating.

Book review This book brilliantly blends a deep understanding of the awful complexities of divorce with a layman's readability. Divorce is not easy and the authors do not try to say it is. Pauline and Peggy capture why litigation does not work by examining the underlying processes of this emotional, financial and legal transition at a time of impaired decision making. I know! I served as a Domestic Judge for over 13 years and was never able to adequately explain to divorcing spouses the court's inherent inability to serve their needs. Collaborative Divorce leads to an understanding of why court does not work in family situations as it guides readers around the emotional traps that sabotage even your best efforts. This book should be required reading for anyone contemplating divorce. Every professional involved in divorce (lawyers, counselors, financial advisers) should read and reread the book on a regular basis. It breaks down the steps of what at first appears to be a complicated process and very clearly presents a compelling argument for exploring this method of restructuring a family during an unbelievably stressful time. Pauline and Peggy capture both the essence and detail of this exciting movement. If you only read one book on divorce, you owe it to your children and yourself to make it this one. Parents, even if you feel like Court is right for you (It isn't because it is not right for anyone in divorce. In over 1500 cases I never saw a winner.) read this book before you let a lawyer convince you the old way is best. Lawyers, read this book to learn how to enjoy helping families through divorce instead of particpating in the carnage.

This is a wonderful, welcome addition to the list of resources for spouses considering or going through collaborative divorce. Clear, organized, and full of "real life" examples, I would highly recommend this book.

This is a great book. For anyone who is going through or is about to go through the break-up of a relationship - or is close to someone going through it -- this book is a must to read. Although much of it is about the particular legal process of what is called "collaborative law," a great deal of the book clearly explains the emotional effects of ending a relationship in ways that are extremely helpful. There is nothing quite like this book. Overall, it provides a thoughtful guide for both partners as they try to maintain their self-esteem and essential moral beings, while at the same time the book acknowledges and addresses the pain and instinct for self-preservation that can otherwise cause break-ups to be destructive to everyone involved.