Children of Divorce: A Developmental Approach to Residence and Visitation

A must read for all divorced/separated parents who really care about their children. While non-custodial parents may not like what this book has to say (especially in cases involving infants and young children), it definitely takes into consideration the needs of THE CHILD rather than the non-custodial parent and gives parents a good insight of what the child is going through. In an unfortunately judicial climate where judges simply want to take the easy way out to please the parents by cutting the children in half, this book warns of the potential damage this can cause your child. It also provides common sense methods for non-custodial parents to be involved in their children's lives until they do have more extensive visitation, which is encouraged as the children get older.

This book is an excellent guide to understanding what is best for your child and why. The author's recommendations stem from widely recognized theories of psychological development. It may seem unfair at times to the non-custodial parent. However, a part of being a good parent is doing what is best for your child even if that means putting your own needs aside. I think this book offers excellent guidance for parents trying to develop a healthy co-parenting plan that works and is age appropriate.

This slim volume was enormously helpful in understanding how to best meet the needs of children in different age groups after divorce. My husband and I were painfully aware that his kids were still having a lot of trouble adjusting to his divorce, particularly the visitation schedule. This book helped us understand what revisions needed to be made to the schedule. We easily recognized his children in the descriptions of how kids at different developmental stages respond to their parents' divorces, and the author's lists of what the kids' developmental tasks are at each stage and what likely trouble areas are helped us to assess how the kids were coping. We easily identified that the seven-year-old could be helped significantly by involving him in sports to develop important relationships with his peers and that we could probably divide the amount of time the nine-year-old spent with each parent more equally without causing her anxiety or leaving her confused about her schedule.Kids have very different reactions to divorce, and this book is perfect for helping parents identify what they can do to help each of their individual children. An excellent resource for divorced parents who really want to help their kids.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough. In planning and writing my custody/visitation plan I quoted and based the plan on the suggested guidlines in the book. There is a clear understanding for the needs of THE CHILD and the information is written with the child's best interest in mind. In the end the plan that I submitted was entered in as the official recommendation, and the judge was impressed by my reference to this book.