Childhood and Sexuality

It is typical but sad that this excellent little book is out of print and hard to find. Stevi Jackson, who puts exactly the right spin on a subject that is generally mishandled, was obviously writing to fill a void. As an author, she gives the impression that she is happy with her own sexual nature, neuroses and all. She is obviously comfortable with the idea that children are sexual beings, and while acknowledging the difficulty of writing on this subject, and accepting that some people will disagree strongly with her conclusions, she puts her considered view (she is a lecturer in Social Studies) without drama. Her central thesis is that sex is at the core of our lived experience; that it is a natural, even mundane, aspect of existence, and that by making it a special subject, circumscribed by convention and taboo, we have caused a lot of serious difficulties for ourselves and our children. She draws parallels between the historical denial of female sexual autonomy and our current attitudes toward the sexual behaviour of children. She maintains that "in attempting to protect children from sex, we expose them to danger". Without the usual hysteria that accompanies discussions of this type, Jackson's ideas seem pragmatic and generous. She is not given to explaining human behaviour in terms of endocrinology or evolutionary theory, emphasising rather the human dimension and illustrating her text with personal anectotes and quotes from L.P Hartley and Carson McCullers. By establishing a basic outline of what is, as against what ought to be, she allows the text to approach some thorny issues in a congenial way. She points out, for example, that erotic feeling between a parent or other adult and a child is in itself merely a phenomena, and not in the least unusual; children rely on their attractiveness to adults to survive. What develops from this attraction can enrich and strengthen a healthy relationship. Unfortunately, and commonly, the adult reacts with fear, because the feelings are unacceptable, and becomes cold and distant (as many fathers do with their nubile daughters). Alternatively, and even more sadly, the adult has such a narrow and confused idea of sex and love that a sexual relationship develops, exposing the child to all kinds of risks and unhappiness. Such pathologies are a direct consequence of sexual ignorance, guilt and nuerosis. She traces much of the sexual misery in the world to our inability to treat the subject as either worthy of serious dicussion or suitable for casual exchanges. She believes that the problem of how to teach children about sex is created even as we edit every single sexual reference from their lives. Her position is humanitarian, her approach gentle, and given the many metres of sexological and self help literature in print, this slim little volume has much to say