Child of Mine: Original Essay's on Becoming a Mother

I SO wish I had found this book years ago. It is the freshest, most intelligent, and best-written book about what it's like to be new mother that I have ever read. Don't get the impression that this collection of essays is strictly for women who "did the career thing" before they had children. This is an honest and touching examination from some of the most articulate women around...of all ages and career levels. I have three sons (including 6-year-old twins) and although I was excited and felt "chosen" that I was blessed with such an honor, it was without question the scariest and most difficult thing I have ever done. Unfortunately there seems to be a whole culture of people who recoil at the gritty details of bearing and raising infants--you're supposed to have a positive attitude and a smile on your face at all times. Even the (sometimes) profound pain of labor has become a hackneyed Hollywood comedy staple, when you think about it. Sugar-coating the reality of what women go through physically and emotionally when they bear children is simply another form of the tremendous cultural pressure on women in this country. That this book enthralled me years after I had babies at home is an indication of how deep my feelings are to this day...as an independent person, I felt the loss of control over my life, our finances, and my dreams at my very core...even though pregnancy was a choice I had made. Reading this book was like finally being able to breathe after years of not being able to articulate what was happening to me. Every single essay in this book focuses on the extraordinary adventure motherhood is, and how it's an ongoing, joyful process that molds a mother in unexpected and wonderful ways. A great mood-lifter for anyone with a small infant at home. I can't give it enough of a recommendation.

I read this book when my son was six months old. I wish I had found it sooner. Since then, I have given it to my closest new-mother/pregnant friends. They tell me they are passing it on as well. It is the only book I found that spoke to the emotions of the incredible first year of motherhood. I found what I had searched for with futility in the "how-tos." I saw a part of myself in each essay and took great comfort in the fact that I was not alone.

I am perhaps in the unusual situation that I read this book when I was pregnant with my first child and then again after I had her. When I was pregnant, my reaction was that many women in the book were extremely negative, ungrateful, and downright weird about the children they were blessed with. Then, lo and behold, after about a week with my newborn, as I cried buckets during fits of sleep-deprived postpartum depression, painfully tried to nurse with engorged breasts and wondered whether I was going insane, I remembered the book and checked it out of the library again. Reading it again was such a comfort. So many books ignore or gloss over those overwhelming, exhausting first few months with a newborn. This book tells it like it is from women who have not let time fade their memories. Yes, it does get better, and my daughter is a joy. But this book is highly recommended for any new mother who has difficulty adjusting to her new role. She needs to know she is not ! ! alone.

While not intended for the purpose, this book might work better than a condom in reducing population growth. Reading Child of Mine is sure to give any woman pause before becoming pregnant, because the contributors hold nothing back in their accounts of their early experiences as mothers. Sleep deprivation, cracked nipples, near insanity -- it's all there. The more pleasant aspects of motherhood are depicted as well, but as any "experienced" parent will tell you, the first year in particular is the most grueling, the boot camp of parenting, if you will. Too often I felt that these writer-mothers' stories lacked perspective, some sort of retrospective comments to indicate that after the kid hits 18 months or so, things get much easier. But perhaps that's the point. In that first year or so we don't have perspective. We are trapped in a baby-care and -concern time warp from which there seems no immediate escape. The authors have followed editor Kline's directive to capture their first-year experiences, and the resulting collection of essays takes us from conception forward through the new-mother adventure. While mothers may find that no one of the scenarios exactly describes their own experience, collectively, they describe a sort of Everymom to whom we all can relate. Piece together this woman's breastfeeding experience, that woman's socioeconomic circumstances, another woman's level of attachment, and most moms will be able to find a mothering experience with which to identify. Child of Mine is a nice complement to the other baby-and-child nonfiction on the shelves. Those of us who are already mothers are in a little safer position to enjoy the book: The fact that we even have time to read the authors' essays is testament to the fact that parenting's maniacal pace has slowed down to a civil level. The sad fact is that the audience who might most benefit from the shared experiences in this book are new mothers, who are least likely to have time to read it. That leaves us with parents who are still expecting their children, by birth or adoption. Proceed with caution. You might think you know what to expect the first year, but those handbook-type books don't tell the whole story. Short of the actual parenting experience, Child of Mine provides the most helpful and valid overview of what you're in for your first year on the job.