Child Friendly Divorce: A Divorce(d) Therapist's Guide to Helping Your Children Thrive

Going through divorce is an emotional experience that can make people who've shared life's most gentle moments turn on each other like rabid beasts. The statistics reveal the need for a book like this one: 50-60% of marriages fail; and one third of children under 18 live with only one parent.Author Diane Berry brings unique qualifications to her book project; as a young attorney practicing family law, she recognized a flair for helping deal with the emotional upsets caused by divorce. She went back to school, earned a Masters Degree in Social Work, and began a counseling practice specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy. When she developed an informal class to educate parents about handling some of the difficulties of divorce, a court official saw its value and made it mandatory for all divorcing parents in their county. Five years later, the class is conducted 24 times a year and filled to capacity.The subtitle of the first chapter sets the book's tone: What Happens to the Children? Fond memories and children or not, divorce is the inevitable outcome of many marriages, and despite their best intentions, couples unwittingly do very harmful things to their kids while in the throes of splitting up. Berry describes how separation and divorce affects children in different age groups emotionally, and suggests how to deal with problems that arise, both short term and long term. She recommends setting up a system of nurturing, open communication, and stresses the importance of organization and scheduling.Berry's therapy experience comes to play often, such as her explanation of the behavioral technique Emotional Regulation to change habits and improve outcomes. She encourages utilizing outside counseling and urges parents not to feel overly guilty. Children are resilient and actually grow emotionally through dealing with stress in small doses -- they need not be totally sheltered from the reality of life. Berry recommends sensitivity to the needs of the "other" parent balanced with protecting the children and building their self-esteem. Divorcing couples must travel a path toward cooperation, forgiveness, letting go of the pain -- and moving on.By rendering good advice infused with positive thinking, humor, and an upbeat tone, Berry gives parents an encouraging roadmap for accomplishing divorce while inflicting the fewest emotional scars on their children.

Authoritatively written by Diane M. Berry (a former family law attorney turned psychotherapist who has personally experienced divorce), Child Friendly Divorce: A Divorce(d) Therapist's Guide To Helping Your Children Thrive is a straightforward examination of the crisis and trauma that divorce brings to children's lives, and what divorcing parents can do to ease the burden. From helping children adjust to long-term difficulties; to forming a co-parenting partnership with the "other parent"; to when and how to introduce children to a new partner, Child Friendly Divorce is a quality guide, practical and intuitively written. If you are considering or involved in a divorce where there are children involved, then you need to give a careful reading to Diane Berry's Child Friendly Divorce.

Loved this book! Going through a divorce is an emotional roller coaster for ALL family members. It's easy to forget about the little ones when the parents are going thru so much turmoil also. This book give lots of examples, which are extremely easy to relate to. And it gives practical advise that is easy to follow and to remember. I was done with the book in one night....couldn't put it down!