Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future

This book has a lot good points. I absolutely love how it talks about boundaries and choices. This book is great for anyone who is struggling with setting boundaries or gets guilted into doing what others want them to do instead of choosing for themselves what they want in life. This book would help anyone who was raised in an abusive or controlling family and anyone who married into one. I am really glad I read this book! I will read it again. I liked it so much that I am going to start giving it as a gift for high school graduation. One thing that stands out for me is when he says that thinking for ourselves is the beginning of freedom. Other books I have considered giving as graduation gifts: The gift of fear by Gavin de Becker (for girls) New Choices, New Boundaries by Rich Buhler Boundaries in marriage by John Townsend and Henry Cloud

This has much needed information in navigating life and relationships.

I've been reading other books as well, so it would be better to ask me for an evaluation later, once I complete "Changes That Heal." Thank you.

Dr. Henry Cloud in his introduction, explains that he did not set out to write this book. Rather it was an extension of his ministry and the encouragement of many who benefited from the ministry and wished that he would expand its scope. Most revealing in the introduction into this material is the observation that within Christianity is a broad section which seems to espouse the idea that Christians who suffer from issues such as depression, relationship deficiencies, sexual dysfunction etc are somehow in sin and to blame for their issues simply because they have not laid claim to the healing available to them in Christ. This viewpoint is not all that different than those in the past who have applied the same reasoning to those who are physically ill with issues like cancer, diabetes etc and have failed to lay hold of the same healing that is promised to varying degrees. Great damage came from this form of absolute intolerant thinking. Equal and perhaps greater harm comes from the application of this same erroneous thinking to the softer field of human emotions and thought processes. While the latter form of absolute thinking has diminished and more grace and understanding have been extended within all but the most extreme factions within the Church, unfortunately this same attitude prevails far too often within the mainstream of the Church for reasons that this reviewer can only attribute to the fact that these issues are less visible and that many who espouse them do so from ignorance and the discomfort that these situations can bring. Dr. Cloud's book does an outstanding job of explaining the causative roots of many of these issues to where those who suffer from them as well as those who have difficulty accepting or understanding them can benefit greatly without having to reject or discount the truths of Christianity. Addressing the issue progressively with an explanation of how psychological growth can get out of sync with physical growth and then specifically addressing the issues of bonding, separating, developing values and then maturing, gives footholds to understanding that help the individual identify where they need to work and the Church as a whole know how to provide the understanding and support that draws the Church into a loving and accepting community rather than a judgemental and exclusive society of only those who are without problems. Far too often the fruits of the field of psychology are rejected by the community of faith. Dr. Cloud does an outstanding job of bringing the two together in a manner that promotes understanding and growth without watering down the importance of spirituality. Appropriate for those seeking help as well as those who seek to better understand how to extend it.

I was surprised at some reviews here, e.g. those that said book was unstructured (read the chapter titles: the structure could not be clearer) or that the authors did not provide any solutions (easily half the book is practical, concrete strategies and suggestions). What I like best about Changes That Heal and other books by Henry Cloud and his frequent co-author John Townsend is the great balance of practical and theoretical. They go into considerable detail about the reasons for certain problems; they provide lots of case studies; and they give numerous practical devices such as checklists (e.g. to test whether I have certain feelings, attitudes etc.) and direct suggestions. Of course, these suggestions are not simple--no "take 2 aspirin" approaches here. Changing and healing require--surprise--lots of work!!

A-plus! This is a GREAT book that helped me understand how my past affected every area of my life (work, relationships, and my underlying attitudes). Although I had experienced great success in the business world, my personal relationships were suffering terribly and I was miserable on the inside. This book helped me understand why and how to change.It clearly explained the important things I needed but didn't get out of each developmental stage while growing up from an infant to an adult. While reading the book, it became clear how I developed coping mechanisms to get through life--trying to get my needs met--with mixed results. On the outside, I was a picture of success, but on the inside I was tired, empty, unhappy and frustrated. With this understanding, and a continued commitment to find new ways to think, act and live, I am now learning to live a life that promises to be happier and healthier. Thanks Dr. Cloud for your part in bringing about these changes in me!I highly recommend other books written by Henry Cloud's (Safe People, Boundaries) as they are also well written and very good resources for healing the innermost areas of the heart and minds to help enjoy the journey to wholeness and joy! 'Changes That Heal' is a book that is informative and life changing. Change and Healing IS possible! Definitely worth reading! A-plus!