Cartwheels in a Sari: A Memoir of Growing Up Cult

As a student of history of religions and religious cults, I found this memoir to be very interesting indeed. I met Sri Chinmoy myself on several occasions and had many conversations with disciples of his, and Jayanti Tamm's description of him, his personality, and his relationships with his disciples conform completely to what I personally observed. Her honesty is commendable; she makes no apology for the life she lived in Sri Chinmoy's world, and she describes her crisis of faith in stark but touching detail. Tamm's writing is of the highest caliber and I read the book in one extended sitting. This book is a must for anyone interested in personality cults and the power of religious "group think."

A very interesting and insightful look into growing up in a cult. This story really portrays how "wandering souls" can get pulled into a cult group. My eyes were really opened at the authors descriptions of everyday life in a cult. It was amazing to me that the members really did nothing but work for, and try to please their Guru. The Guru was their life and they literally obeyed every order from him without question. Growing up the author never knew another way of life. The Guru tried to keep all of his members uneducated, but the children were allowed to go to school. It was here that the author wondered why "everyone didn't have a Guru?" After many years of questioning her commitment to her Guru, the author was able to break away from the group and start a life of her own. Considering how deeply ingrained this way of life was to her, it is amazing that she was able to get out and stay out.

In _Cartwheels in a Sari_, Jayanti Tamm sensitively describes her birth, childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood in Sri Chimnoy's inner circle as his lineage holder, chosen at birth. Tamm's book acknowledges from the start that "this memoir isn't the definitive account of Sri Chimnoy; it is my own remembrance," yet her honesty throughout makes this account both highly credible and extremely readable. The book details her own impressions from her earliest memories of "Guru" to her beginning doubts and loss of identity as she struggled to reconcile the contradictions she saw in Sri Chimnoy's personality and manipulations, with her, and her family's, pivotal role in his community. The book begins before Tamm's birth, when her parents met one evening at a Sri Chimnoy center, married almost immediately on the orders of Chimnoy, and then had two children. As Tamm puts it, "The night, decades earlier, when they surrendered their lives to Guru, they unknowingly surrendered mine as well." The memoir unfolds so that we, as readers, see Sri Chimnoy first through a child's eyes, then from the point of view of an adolescent, and later in early adulthood to the present. Along the way, Tamm outlines her growing doubts and concerns about what she saw and her problem of having no one to confide in. People in the organization would report any sign of doubt or questioning back to Chimnoy, and Tamm had very few contacts with the outside world, hence the title "growing up cult." The problems and contradictions intensify, becoming almost inescapable. For example, at one point, Tamm as an elementary school student hears Chimnoy ask in a sermon on a bus filled with disciples, "Could you not kill her?" in reference to Alo, one of Chimnoy's members. Tamm questions, "Nothing made sense. I must have misunderstood Guru." Then we see a precocious child's attempt to come to terms with this insane suggestion. From Tamm's experiences growing up, a detailed, fascinating portrait of Sri Chimnoy and his operations gradually emerges. In the community he created, he represented himself as a spokesperson with god-like powers and direct access to God--knowledge of the "supreme." Among his disciples, he demanded obedience, reverence, and complete devotion. Meanwhile, to the external world, Chimnoy cultivated the image of an international leader for peace, going out of his way to develop contacts with famous people, from UN secretaries and other political leaders to movie stars and athletes. These associations would enable meetings with more celebrities, bolstering his legitimacy in the larger public. As a final note, Tamm's book is very courageous. She discusses her own experiences frankly and does not wince from telling the truth, even when it is painful. We see the broken lives in the wake of Chimnoy's activities and the difficulties of starting over. I highly recommend this book.

I've been fascinated with cults for decades, but found this book particularly insightful because it demonstrates both the attractions of cult life -- the ease of following a prescribed path and feelings of superiority to nonbelievers -- as well as the emptiness and helplessness that result from giving up control of your life. Jayanti Tamm illustrates all the mechanisms of social control, competition, and absurdity that result as Sri Chinmoy requires his followers to demonstrate their loyalty in more and more extreme ways. I was moved by her unique dilemma as "The Chosen One" and as a child growing up in the cult; joining wasn't her choice. She creates incredible suspense as she chronicles her efforts to leave and break free, too. I only wish she had gone on a bit longer, and written more about her transition to "normal" American life. I'd also be curious to know whether the charges of innappropriate sexual activity by the guru were ever substantiated. All in all, a fascinating read!

I loved the book. I found it fascinating on a number of different levels. First of all, just to learn about a "lifestyle" first hand that I never knew existed. Second, I think so many of us can relate to the idea that we are constantly searching for something (or someone) that helps to show our way in this world. I think those that succumb to what is described in the book are fascinating to hear about. I loved the style of the writing - I was expecting a biographical type of book - but I loved the "creative non-fiction" style. There were times when I was drawn by a sense of suspense, and certainly, at times, by an underlying sense of danger that I felt in certain parts. I cried at the end. I am actually a bit haunted by the ending.