Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love

Caring for the Dead, written by the Exec. Director of the Funeral and Memorial Societies of America, explains death and funeral issues such as cremation, burials, cemeteries, caskets, and embaling. The book also discusses specific death and funeral practises for each state. Very helpful guide. --- Author of the multi-award winning resource guide: Mom Minus Dad: The Essential Resource Guide for Busy Adults with a Newly Widowed Parent

In "Caring for the Dead," Lisa Carlson provides both an informative guide to DIY funerals and cremations, as well as a searing exposé of the funeral and cemetery industries. Carlson divides her book into three sections: "Personal Stories" is a 40-page introduction to the text in which different individuals (including Carlson) discuss their experiences with death and the subsequent disposal of the dead; "General Information" consists of 14 chapters and explains both "traditional" and non-traditional funerals, as well as cremation and body and organ donation; finally, "Caring for the Dead" details the relevant laws and regulations of all 50 US states. It was the "General Information" section that I found most captivating. I've never had to arrange a funeral (and hopefully I won't need to for some time yet!), so I was woefully unaware of what actually takes place during the course of planning and implementing one. Carlson demonstrates how greed and callousness have pervaded the funeral and burial industries, causing prices to skyrocket while sales tactics plummet to new levels of depravity. Through manipulative techniques and downright lies, funeral directors convince John Q. Public that embalming is both required by law and essential for public safety (in reality, it is neither, and the chemicals used are actually toxic to the environment), while cemeteries strong-arm consumers into paying maximum price for a minimum amount of real estate, all the while demanding that any upgrades be purchased, installed, and maintained solely by them (for a hefty fee, of course!). Even cremations don't come cheap, as crematories guilt-trip survivors into buying expensive caskets (which will simply be destroyed within days) and cemeteries deceive them into buying niches in which to "bury" the cremains. While this is all quite appalling, it hardly comes as a surprise; after all, it's just another example of capitalism at its worst. Harder to comprehend is how funeral homes and cemeteries are allowed to get away with this sort of crap! Well, again, I guess I shouldn't be shocked - we are talking about the FTC here. Like many savvy businesses, funeral homes and cemeteries simply band together in the form of associations, which then employ lobbyists, apply a modicum of political pressure, and top it all off with campaign contributions, and - presto! - the FTC at your command! End of political rant, back to the book review! In essence, the "General Information" section serves as an excellent consumer guide, informing you of your rights, detailing the immoral and sometimes illegal sales tactics you're likely to encounter, and teaching you how to come out victorious over those who wish to separate you from YOUR money and rob you of the valuable opportunity to care for YOUR dead, YOUR way. The final chapters on state-by-state laws offer an excellent supplement to the general information. I highly recommend "Caring for the Dead" to EVERYONE, whether you

This is the update version of her original Caring For Your Own Dead and what I said about that book applies here. Lost count of the number of copies of this book I have bought, but I love giving it as a gift, and have used it myself actually when helping friends build plain pine burial boxes and oak burial boxes for loved ones.It is a subject that needs to be discussed more, since so many people assume that ONLY a funeral home that charges thru the nose in prices, can legally handle a body or a funeral and burial. Fact is nothing could be further from the truth. The book discusses each states laws, along with what family and loved ones need to know about getting tansport permits to get the body of a loved one either home from the hospital, and prepared for a service and burial or to a local cemetary or cremation facility for handling. And the new edition has updated info on state to state laws.Fact is my Grandma Katy who grew up in rural Montana knew all about washing and dressing family members and the whole life to death process and that death and burial need NOT be a scary and uneasy thing to take part in. The author discusses all the myths of handling the dead, and all the misconceptions people have about death and dying. Personally I cannot think of a more loving gift than welcoming a new life into the world and helping a loved on who has exited this world. This book and the classic The American Way Of Death by Jessica Mitford are MUST reads for anyone who is mature, thoughtful and not so easy swayed to handing all their personal needs over to strangers. Ceasar Chavez' family made his plain pine burial boxes. The Amish make all their own burial boxes and have for centuries. Locally we made our friends Bea Brickeys plain pine box per her wishes.Bill Cosbys family buried their beloved son who had been murdered, at their home. And the Amish, some Quakers and a number of Sierra Club members I know have all done the "home funeral", so the idea that you the average citizen cannot do what the Amish and the wealthy do for their own loved ones, is just not true. Read the book if for no other reason that to learn something new.

Lost count of the number of copies of this book I have bought, but I love giving it as a gift, and have used it myself actually when helping friends build plain pine burial boxes and oak burial boxes for loved ones.It is a subject that needs to be discussed more, since so many people assume that ONLY a funeral home that charges thru the nose in prices, can legally handle a body or a funeral and burial. Fact is nothing could be further from the truth.The book discusses each states laws, along with what family and loved ones need to know about getting tansport permits to get the body of a loved one either home from the hospital, and prepared for a service and burial or to a local cemetary or cremation facility for handling.Fact is my Grandma Katy who grew up in rural Montana knew all about washing and dressing family members and the whole life to death process and that death and burial need NOT be a scary and uneasy thing to take part in. The author discusses all the myths of handling the dead, and all the misconceptions people have about death and dying.This book and the classic The American Way Of Death by Jessica Mitford are MUST reads for anyone who is mature, thoughtful and not so easy swayed to handing all their personal needs over to strangers. Ceasar Chavez' family made his plain pine burial boxes. The Amish make all their own burial boxes and have for centuries. Locally we made our friends Bea Brickeys plain pine box per her wishes.Bill Cosbys family buried their beloved son who had been murdered, at their home. So the idea that you the average citizen cannot do what the Amish and the wealthy do for their own loved ones, is just not true.Read the book if for no other reason that to learn something new.APRIL 2004:My husband died February 2, 2004 unexpectedly and I know that it was this book and the wisdom it taught me when I bought my first copy in 1990-91, that made the process of spending time with his body, donating his bones, eyes, organs and then choosing cremation so much easier and not at all scary as I once thought it would be. The author became a gift to me in my time of need.

This book should be given to every person whose parents are still alive! No kidding. When you need this book most, you're least likely to buy it because you'll be paralyzed with grief and not thinking straight. Know what you're going to be up against -- before you're up against it! I wish Hospice would make this available to families of its patients. While death is an uncomfortable topic for anyone, Lisa Carlson makes dealing with final arrangements so very easy and understandable. She gives you the options that the professionals will conceal. She empowers you to make the best financial decision for your loved one and your family. I can't praise this book and its author highly enough. If you know someone whose family member (or partner) is dying, do them a HUGE favor and buy it for them. They'll thank you later.