Building Trust: In Business, Politics, Relationships, and Life

I am a big Heidegger fan, and it is refreshing to see an alternative to trusting that doesn't include game theory, cognitivism, intellectualism, and the like. It's great for entrepeneurs!

Expectations that arise from our cultural backgrounds may cause us to be disappointed that this book is not a 'How To' manual, nor does it provide a blueprint for building or skillfully posessing some 'thing' called trust. Instead, the authors offer a philosophical discourse aimed at: exploring the cultural backgrounds that produce our (mis)understanding of trust; observing trusting in ourselves and others; developing a more powerful understanding of the meaning of trust; and developing practices and other competencies that will increase our capacity to trust, allowing us to enter into more powerful and satisfying relationships. Those who have read Dr. Flores et al's Disclosing New Worlds, in which three specific historical narratives offer examples of particular political skills in action, may be disappointed that there are no similar in-depth narratives here. I think the ubiquity trust acts -- we are in situations of trust/mistrust in almost every moment of our lives -- precludes those kinds of narratives.

This book is not a prescription or a how to book; it provides rich distinctions that have inspired me to be a different observer of trust. My personal vision is to bring trust back into the business world; to build trust in business, relationships, and life. I am sick and tired of dealing with companies and people that don't do what they say they are going to do. I don't want to hear another excuse, story, explanation, or reason again. Trust is what is missing in the world and especially in the world of business, and even more especially in the world of technology.Trust is about honor, integrity, and accountability. There is no greater freedom than absolutely knowing that you can trust another person. Trust brings peace. Trust lets me sleep at night. Trust feels right. Trust feels good. Trust is being free from worry. Being trusted is an honor. Being trusted carries a responsibility and with that responsibility, there is pride. There is dignity. There is self worth. Trust is human. Trust is transformative. Trust is care. Trust is virtuous. Trust is authentic. Trust is pure. Trust is sincerity.Below are some excerpts from the book that I felt were pearls:" Trust is the essential precondition upon which all real success depends. The key to trust is action, and, in particular, commitment: commitments made and commitments honored." "The problem of trust has clearly emerged as the problem in human relationships and organizations. What makes most companies falter-leaving aside market forces, bad products, and incompetent management-is the lack of trust." "Our aim is to help people build trust, establish trust where there has been none, maintain trust when trust is in trouble, and recreate trust even when it seems that trust has been destroyed." "Trusting is something we make, we create, we build, we maintain, we sustain with our promise, our commitments, our emotions, and our sense of our own integrity. ""Trust is not merely reliability, predictability, or what is sometimes understood as trustworthiness. It is always the relationship within which trust is based and which trust itself helps create." "The freedom provided by trust is the freedom to think for oneself and speak up with one's ideas." "Trust is a matter of making and keeping commitments, and the problem is the failure to cultivate commitment making. "Trust involves sincerity, authenticity, integrity, virtue, and honor. It is a matter of conscientious integrity." "The worst enemies of trust are cynicism, selfishness, and a naïve conception of life in which one expects more than one is willing to give. Resentment, distrust, and inauthenticity are the result." "Self-trust is the most basic and most often neglected from of trust. Distrust is often a projection of missing self-trust." "Trust goes hand in hand with truth. Lying is always a breach of trust. What is wrong with lying, in turn, is that it breaches trust. ...telling the truth establishes trust and lying destroys it." "Authentic trust c

I have been studying both these authors over the last 15 years and. I find that the way in which Dr. Flores & Solomon have been able to speak about Building Trust allows myself and my buisness clients to begin resolving a nagging issue; "how do I trust others in my organization who I must rely on to get my work done?"As Flores and Solomon say; it is a matter first and foremost of 'giving trust'. Many people approach their relationships, either professional or personal, such that trust becomes a matter of bartering. If you do this, I will do that and if we do this enough times we will begin to trust each other..but if you make any mistakes then we have to go back to ground zero and in actuality it is a negative ground, it can never be zero again..or, as in many cases we don't even try to go back we just say adios.The practice of building 'Authentic Trust' is not a opaque and hidden conversation. Flores and Solomon understand this challange and the courage required when they refer to the 'cordial hypocrisy' that must be overcome within ourselves and our communities to build this 'authentic trust.'For years, Vietnam Vets or others like us, lived in a country that could not talk about the 'dark side' or evilness of the war. This breakdown in trust, the 'cordial hypocrisy' which worked to cover this up, has been one of the causes of so much pain and loss of life even after the war. We did not see the importance of 'talking about trust' as a moment of building trust.It is no different in organizations. The well being and livelihoods of our colleagues, our communities and our customers depend on each one of us. Sure, we can talk about the 'common sense' position of it is 'only a job' but in the end it is an excuse for not being involved enough, not having enough courage to be real about our distrust and for this we all pay the price.Some of us who have been in those places in life, as Dr. Flores, know they 'have been betrayed or how they have betrayed others' but we had to learn about 'authentic trust' in order to go on. Maybe we can learn from them and the voices of our own relationships. We need to be honest, open and willing to give and build trust at the very moment we are 'betrayed.' This is a matter of virtue and not convenience. It is a self determined act of giving trust.I applaud Dr.'s Flores and Solomon for their commitment to bring these matters forward as central for all of us.

When reading this book, suddenly I realized that the electromagnetism of relationships with great possibilities is trust. And I agree with the authors when they affirm "...talk without action leads only to distrust... But the essence of building trust is making commitments...making and honoring commitments involve precisely the same combination of words and action that builds trust." The book brought in to my conciousness this matter of trust, like gravity, is present only when we talk about it. It is written with the spirit to create trust. Inspires. Great book.