Boundary Power: How I Treat You, How I Let You Treat Me, How I Treat Myself

After 28 years of marraige, I am divorced and alienated from my daughter. Always considered myself to be astute and open minded,but after hours of therapy, friendly advice, Christian counseling, I have discovered why it all came about. Everyone in my family had "a hand in the pie" but it was truly my and to some extent, my husband's lack of boundaries that opened our marraige up to upheavel, neither one of us understanding what happened. This is an excellent resource. It should be mandatory reading for young people before marraige and any couple considering parenting. The impact of this knowledge is powerful!!!

I disagree with the perspective expressed by a few others that this book is too Christian oriented. It contains very little Christian content and this can be skipped if desired without taking away from the rest of the book. Perhaps the book "Boundaries" by Drs Henry Cloud and John Townsend has been mistaken for "Boundary Power." In fact, "Boundary Power" discusses abusive religious systems and practices that violate personal boundaries. I am a mental health counselor, and I find that many of my clients have unhealthy boundaries that cause them to be taken advantage of or be victimized. This book points out what boundaries are, where we learn them, and why they are necessary. It gives numerous examples of both healthy and unhealthy boundaries while guiding the reader to examine their own boundaries and to develop. I recommend it.

I am a social worker. I had this book on my shelf for two years but it lay there untouched until today. I rediscovered it when I was going through my bookshelf to try to find something to help some friends who are struggling in their marriage. I took the book home to read and couldn't put it down. The authors speak compassionately and from experience in a user-friendly style. I cried over the self-discovery of some of my own wounds that I have never let heal.As a member of the LGBT community I would only be afraid that people in all communities who could benefit from this book may never read it because the authors make assumptions about sexual orientation and nuclear families....but I will still enthusiasticly recommend it (with a grain of rainbow salt) to everyone I know. To the authors....THANK YOU...and best wishes with your continued recovery.

This workbook explains the concept of boundaries, helps readers learn how to identify unhealthy boundaries, and learn to set new, healthier boundaries on all levels. It doesn't shy away from the tough questions, like "How have you violated someone's boundary recently?" Although from a Christian perspective, and containing a full (and excellent) chapter on religious boundary violations, those of other persuasions--including atheists--could overlook the slight religious content and benefit greatly by working through the book.

This workbook helped me to apply all I learned through "Boundaries. Where I End and You Begin". The concept of "Boundaries" was completely foreign to me. My definition of self, was totally dependant on those around me. I only mattered to the point that others perceived me.I was completely devistated when Social Services took my children. My case is based less than 10 percent on fact, and over 90 percent on distortions and flat out lies. My world crashed down around me. I allowed others to totally manipulate me. It is now two years later. I am still fighting for my children (CPS doesn't admit they have made any mistakes and chooses to run with lies-even those that can be completely proven as lies-100%). Focusing on their distortions, brought me only misery. I have jumped through everyone of their hoops (classes, testing, ..). I completed everything they through at me, yet I still don't have my children home. If I was going to survive this, something had to change. I had to change. Not for anyone else, but actually for myself. The difference now. I actually care about myself. It doesn't mean I care about my kids any less, actually I honestly believe that my children feel my love at a higher level. They have a mom who takes care of herself...who actually loves herself. They have a mom who they can be proud of. I couldn't teach my children about boundaries before, I had none. Today, through actions, words, and love I am teaching them what was missing in our lives. I am very greatful for the work this book helped to create in me. It helped to change my life.