Bite Me: A Love Story

One of the weirdest one I've ever read..and I love it

Tell me, what other book can you find the Emperor of San Francisco being saved by a samurai who slays vampire cats? That alone should make this book worthy of a purchase, but it amazingly gets better. "Bite Me" is the third in Christopher Moore's "Vampire Love Story" trilogy and it's probably my favorite now. "Bloodsucking Fiends" (The first book in the series) previously held the title of my favorite book by Moore. It was the first one I read and the book that made me seek out his other novels and pick up every new one as it was released. The sequel titled "You Suck" was a bit of a disappointment, not bad by any means, but nowhere near the level of comedic delight I got from the first book. This one on the other hand, this one is perfect. Without a doubt the funniest in the trilogy and probably my new favorite book by Moore. All the old characters are back, Tommy, Jody, the Emperor, the Animals, Abby, Rivera and Cavuto. They all have their own personal crowning moment of comedy too. Though the real star of this book, in my eyes at least, is the newcomer to the series, Katusumi Okata the Samurai of Jackson Street. A man of few words (he literally only knows only twelve words in English) he is probably the best character Moore has ever written. Okata comes off mostly comical at first, but as the novel progresses, he becomes sympathetic, likeable and frankly the most human character in all of Moore's novels. His emotions are expressed subtly at times, but his backstory (and the scene where he gets out the kimono) are genuinely touching. With only twelve words, he manages to say more than most characters do in long conversations and his actions speak even louder. The plot of the novel takes place shortly after the last book. Tommy and Jody are still stuck inside a bronze statue and while Jody is able to deal with this situation by turning into mist, Tommy is not so fortunate. Meanwhile, vampire cats are prowling the streets, feeding off of the homeless, birds and unwitting meter maids. Behind this invasion of bloodsucking felines is Chet the Shaved Cat. He made an appearance in the previous book, but he's smarter now, almost at human brain level. With all this going on, and the return of a few older vampires as well, the night has never been more dangerous... Narrating our tale once again is Abby Normal, a (don't call her perky) goth girl who may exaggerate the truth slightly, but no doubt tells the tale how she remembers it. Like the second book, her commentary on events makes for some of the funniest sequences, though I can easily understand how it might annoy some people. (She has a tendency to throw out "OMGs" and "WTFs") While the book has its faults (in a book with so many jokes, some are bound to fail) it makes up for it with Moore's sheer enthusiastic glee in his writing. He's able to take scenes that could be terrifying in another novel, such as creatures coming out of the fog with red eyes , only to cheerfully subvert this with

This was my first Christopher Moore book, but it sure will not be my last! I absolutely could not stop reading, and even better could not stop laughing, at this third installment of his vampire love chronicles. After Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story and You Suck: A Love Story, Goth vamp-wanna-be Abby Normal is back. A huge vampire cat is stalking her city, and Abby must fight them along with her nerdiferous boyfriend Foo and the idiot stockboys from the local Safeway. If that isn't bad enough, she previously had "accidentally" bronzed Tommy and Jody, her vampire "bosses," and they are none too happy about it when they are freed. Throw in over-the-top-gay Jared, a crazy homeless guy, and a small Japanese man in orange socks with a katana sword, and you have one hell of a story! I had no idea where this book was going, but it was one thrilling ride. Abby's journal entries, which are alternated with the story's narrative, are hysterical, and the story itself is told with such dry humor that the surreal seems commonplace, making it that much funnier. Add in a bunch of well timed profanity (this is definitely R-rated material) and you have a book that's easy to read and entertaining as any since Johannes Cabal the Necromancer. I've already added more Moore books to my wish list, and you will too after you pick this up. Highest possible recommendation, especially for dark humor fans.

Who, but Christopher Moore, can give you a book with both tender moments, and fart jokes? Nobody I can think of, and that's one of the things that makes him so brilliant. In Bite Me, we return to the streets of San Francisco, (as much a character in the book as the humans ... and the various assorted other creatures), picking up where You Suck: A Love Story left off. Much of the book is told from the perspective of Abby Normal, and OMFG I LOVE HER! I found this book to be slightly more sophisticated than the previous two. A novel you can really (ready?) sink your teeth into. And I'm not just saying that because the pun works. With all the vampire fiction out there these days, vampire lore can get really tired. There were some unique aspects in this book which really put a fresh spin on things, and frankly some fun kind of sciencey stuff that gave it some of that aforementioned substance. Never to be taken for granted, and always worthy of mention is Moore's humor. The book started funny, it stayed funny, it ended funny. So many "comic" novels have laugh out loud starts, which sort of dwindle away as the story progresses. Not so with Bite Me. Many, many, laugh out loud moments. Do you have to have read Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story and You Suck to read this one? Probably not, there's enough background information given, but why wouldn't you?

If you loved You Suck: A Love Story and/or Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story, you definitely want to read this book. It continues the stories started in those books and is laugh out loud hilarious. If you haven't read either of those book, there are two things you need to know. First, if you look at the plot summary and think you'd rather avoid the whole teen girl angst and vampires scene, don't worry. This book is like the anti-Twilight. Second, you don't have to worry about missing important information; the first chapter of this book is a recap of the first two from the perspective of the main character Abby Normal. I was glad for the recap because it had been awhile since I read You Suck and was worried I had forgotten plot details. The story picks up right at the end of You Suck and goes off on crazy funny tangents. My favorite character in "You Suck" was the skinny little Goth girl, Abigail von Normal, so I was excited she would be the main narrator of this book . Her "voice" is a combination of smart aleck Valley girl with a heavy dose of foul-mouthed snark plus pseudo-sophisticated Gothic romantic sensibilities blended into the usual teen girl body and self-esteem issues and rebellion against authority. I listened to the audio book of "You Suck," in which the narrator perfectly captured the essence of Abby, so her voice flowed along in my head as I read this one. It helps to be at least marginally familiar with internet and/or teen slang to know what she is saying. It also helps if you are not easily offended. Abby's snarkiness comes with a bit of a non-PC foul mouth and F-bombs are dropped by many of the characters. Other returning characters are the young vampire lovers Tommy and Jody, officers Cavuto and Riviera, Abby's friend Jared, her boyfriend Foo, the Emperor of San Francisco, the Animals, and Chet the huge vampire cat. If you read Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings (Today Show Book Club #25), you will recognize the Rastafarian fake Hawaiian Kona who makes an appearance later in this book as the captain of a vampire ship. I laughed all through this book and was sorry when I got to the end. Even though the plot is completely over the top, the author makes you just want to jump in the river of craziness and go with the flow. You'd have to wonder what a dark and twisty place the author's brain must be to come up with this stuff, but you'll be too busy enjoying the result to care!

In my rave review of Moore's last novel, Fool, I implied that his novels inspired by Shakespeare and the Bible are more substantive than his fluffier San Francisco/Pine Cove novels. This latest novel, Bite Me, has me rethinking that statement. Funny, it is. Fluffy, it is not. Bite Me is the third (and final?) novel in the Bloodsucking Fiends series. The first novel in a great series is always special because it's our introduction to a new world. That said, this latest installment just might be the best. What I can tell you is this: I found it to be darker, scarier, more suspenseful, and at least as funny as the previous novels. And in addition to all of the above, it's genuinely moving. These characters have been my friends for more than a decade now. I've grown to care about them. The novel opens pretty much in the immediate wake of You Suck. The opening chapter is the first of many that are narrated by the unforgettable Abby Normal, self-proclaimed "emergency back-up mistress of the greater Bay Area night." Abby begins by providing a dizzying (and helpful) recap of the first two novels, but I'd strongly suggest you read Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story and You Suck: A Love Story before tackling this one. She and Foo Dog still inhabit the "love lair." Jody and Tommy are still encased in bronze. Chet, the huge shaved vampire cat is on the prowl. And all of our favorite San Franciscans are back: the Emperor, Bummer, and Lazarus; the Animals; cops Rivera and Cavuto; the folks from Asher's Secondhand Store; and others. And Moore fans, a beloved past character who's never shown up in San Francisco before makes an unexpected appearance in a supporting role. Be careful what you read about this novel. It would be a shame to ruin the surprise! I don't want to summarize the plot. It's too crazy, it lurches in all sorts of unexpected directions, and why should I ruin your fun? What I can tell you is that I was completely surprised by the novel's ending. Earlier I said this novel is darker, scarier, and more suspenseful. (At this point I should admit that I'm a total wuss who's afraid of horror movies and rollercoasters.) Still, characters are placed in real jeopardy. Not all will survive. And I was definitely on the edge of my seat for large stretches of the novel. That Moore can maintain this level of tension while being spit-milk-out-your-nose funny is astonishing. I didn't actually spit any milk out of my nose. I read this novel while laid up with the flu. Every time I laughed out loud it started a coughing jag. I nearly coughed up a lung, but I just couldn't put it down! If that's not a recommendation, what is? Despite aphorisms about old dogs and new tricks, I have to say it: I think Chris Moore is getting better. I've been a hardcore fan for years, and that is saying quite a bit.