Birthbond: Reunions Between Birthparents and Adoptees -- What Happens After

In the late 1980s, there were few books for birthmothers. This book validated the emotional pain I had carried (silently) during the decades after surrendering my child to a system of closed adoption. One of the authors is a birthmother. Thank you, Judith and Linda, for a pioneering work which, I'm sure, helped many people!

Five Stars ... this book was wonderful. Truly a blessing for anyone in the process of search and reunion. It helps the adoptee understand the feelings and emotions of both their birth family and their adoptive family. For parents (both birth and adoptive), it provides a wonderful sense of not being alone. Other people have and do experience the same emotions. I definitely recommend this book to anyone embarking on the journey of reunion! It provides the reader with an understanding of what they can expect during every point in the reunion process and beyond!

My 41 year old daughter, her husband and children, her adoptive parents and I are now into the 8th month of our most joyful reunion and getting acquainted time. This book, which I am now ordering as a gift for her parents, was extremely helpful to me in the early months, when my emotions ran the roller coaster from indescribable joy to deep sadness. In particular, the discussion of the "loss piece" helped me more than anything else to understand how much unresolved grief I had - and, finally -- to put most of it to rest once and for all. Although each person is indeed a unique individual with his/her own reactions, we can all learn from the experiences of others which have been magnificently described in this book.

Of all the books on adoption reunion, this one is the best for birthmothers because it describes such a range of reunions and issues that can be raised. It was most helpful to me because I read it early in the reunion with my son, when I knew little or nothing about the emotional turmoil I was experiencing, and it allowed me to see a variety of possibilities. Birthmothers never forget their lost children, and this book helps us to see that each of us is not alone. It was a poor social experiment with people's lives, closed adoption. Now it's time to learn its ugly lessons and move on to happier and more productive lives! This book can help birthparents, adoptees, and adoptive parents to see the results of closed adoption.

This book discusses the experiences of 40 reunions primarily from the point of view of adoptee and birthparent. It's the first I've seen that looks at reunions after the 6month mark on to 5+ years. I'm almost 5 years into a positive, joyful reunion. As the birthmother, I've also experienced the bittersweet pain of reunion. This daughter & the one I raised are so alike...flashing on what we missed can be very painful. People outside of a reunion experience do not understand or relate. There is also some material from the adoptive family's perspective. If you are in reunion, positive and joyful, or difficult and painful, do read this book. You will find situations to identify with!