Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Valuing All Families Under the Law

Polikoff, Nancy D. "Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Valuing All Families Under the Law", Beacon Press, 2009. Defining Family Amos Lassen Nancy Polikoff gives us an argument that what the law defines as family is not working and not just for the GLBT community--it is not working at all. She says that we need to look at the law and see how it changes family values by marriage even in the area of same-sex marriage. She looks at legal history and gives us court cases to support what she has to say. Issues that she considers are inheritance, taxes, health care and adoption and she shows the impact that these issues have on the population. She gives us a convincing argument as to why married couples, either gay or straight, should not be given special rights that are not given to all families. Under American law, marriage is a dividing factor as it shows a difference between relationships that "matter" and those that do not. For example when a woman marries a man for only nine months has the right to claim his benefits from Social Security when he dies however a woman who has been living with a man in an honest relationship (although they are not married) can get no support from the government. What Polikoff says is that marriage should not give special rights or legal privileges because those who do not live within the framework of marriage are not entitled to the same benefits. Other relationships outside of marriage in many cases are more honest than married relationships and now it is the time for the law to value all families regardless of the way it is constructed. Polikoff has done her research well and looks at the disparity of the rights of man from every nuance of the law. Polikoff clearly states that all families deserve equal rights which now only go to those who are married. Marriage is, after all, a spiritual, religious and cultural experience and there should be no legal ramifications attached to it. Polikoff writes for the layman and she does so well even if repetitive and dense at some points.

This text offers an important expansion of the narrow question: are you for or against 'gay marriage'? By asking us to expand our vision and calling for a broader revision of family law, the author offers a way out of the gay morality trap that will lead to greater rights and autonomy for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation. At times the text is a bit dense and repetitive and could have benefited from some closer editing but the importance of the ideas makes it worth slogging through what is at times plodding prose.

I highly recommend this book to college students, law students, attorneys, religious leaders, and policy makers - gay or straight - anyone who is searching for a better way to conceptualize family values in this country. The author provides an in-depth history of the LGBT rights movement juxtaposed against the rise of the Christian Right and delivers a very moving argument for why we should start to untangle sex-based relationships from the civil institution of marriage and move to a model based on dependency - the original purpose of marriage. In today's modern world, there are many different kinds of families - gay couples raising adopted children; single mothers living with their siblings; adult children helping their elderly parents; etc. etc. These families are built on dependency - each individual supports or depends on another and the government should intervene in a way that rewards such relationships, e.g. by providing health insurance and other benefits that are often provided only for spouses or unrelated domestic partners. This book is a fascinating read and would make an excellent addition to the collection of any scholar of history, politics, feminism, or religion.

Marriage should wholly be a spiritual, religious, and cultural experience - in no point should it have any legal ramifications or even benefits, argues "Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Valuing all Families under the Law". Author Nancy D. Polikoff, a professor of law, says that by legally recognizing some relationships, regardless of gender makeup, as legal and not others, many families suffer, arguing that the marriage movement rejects LGBT equality, no fault divorce, and childbearing and sex outside marriage. Cunningly argued, "Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Valuing all Families under the Law" is enthusiastically recommended for any social issues or gay issues community library shelves or for anyone who wants a differing opinion on the marriage issue.

Nancy Polikoff, a professor of law at the American University Washington College of Law, has researched the very current topic of 'marriage rights' that for the most part are regarded by the general public as the battle between same sex and different sex marriage, an area where there is very little equality or respect to be gleaned from the media, and hence the public. Polikoff wisely approaches this disparity of human rights from an angle that allows every reader to become involved in her plea for reconsideration of what is labeled (and respected) as 'family'. Too often books on the subject of gay rights are so skewed that they end up preaching to the choir or throwing fire on a malignant issue: the audience craving equality under the law for legalizing same sex marriage is balanced against the radical right who condemn the domestic partnership idea as a sin. Polikoff recognizes this schism and in her very natural manner of writing poses examples of units of people whose rights are denied by Social Security policies, child care conflicts resulting from the definition of 'parent', and even rights for visitation in hospitals or hospices when the allowed visitors are 'family only'. Why must the label 'marriage' be the deciding factor in units of loving people whose potential for and production of caring homes be the norm? The subtitle of Polikoff's fine book - VALUING ALL FAMILIES UNDER THE LAW - is well chosen and in many ways is the major message of her book. She asserts that all family relationships and households deserve equal rights now saved only for married couples. This change in approach to the importance of re-defining 'what is a family' holds the value of her work: according to Polikoff, 'family' denotes unmarried couples of any sexual orientation, single-parent households, and the many variations of extended family units, each of which deserves recognition as mutually beneficial cohesive units entitled to the same benefits in the workplace, in government law, and in rights afforded to all citizens. In what will rightly become a powerful resource for sociological studies Nancy Polikoff has elected to make this carefully researched and documented text as reader friendly as possible. Libraries should add this book to their shelves for student studies: the general public would greatly benefit from reading her concepts in hopes of expanding the understanding and appreciation of the transformation of the concept of 'family' today. Highly recommended. Grady Harp, March 08