Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny with a Chance of Scattered Hissy Fits

About one of Celia Rivenbark's earlier books, "USA Today" cleverly said, "Think Dave Barry with a female point of view." It's a formulation that can't be beat, but I'd add "Southern point of view," in regard to "Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny with a Chance of Scattered Hissy Fits," her latest. For Rivenbark, author of the award-winning best sellers Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom; We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle; and Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments, a newspaper humor columnist distributed by the Mc Clatchy Syndicate, is one funny lady. In fact, she's the natural successor to humor columnist Erma Bombach, only she's younger and prettier. And, to be sure, alive. Belle Weather is a collection of Rivenbark's columns. Lucky me, I remember reading some of them in the local paper, "The Star News," of Wilmington, North Carolina; it's her home paper, as it is mine, these days. The paper's star feature writer/book reviewer/movie reviewer Ben Steelman, has just gone to the trouble of counting up Rivenbark's television references in this book: let's just say, among friends, that there are many. Also, many pop culture references. But hey, a girl's gotta refer to something to make her points. And make her points Rivenbark does. She's funny, y'all: and that comes from a woman who has lived here for only three years, is not a Southerner, and never will be. I defy you to get through "Britney's to-do list: pick okra, cover that thang up," without dissolving into fits of laughter. Or try "The difference between cockroaches and water bugs," that explains the southern viewpoint on this important consideration. You probably need to know, if you're a mother, "How Harry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy Drew." Furthermore, Rivenbark has one of the most important ingredients of Southern humor going for her: she can be pretty danged fierce when she's lighting out after those irritating, smug PTA type mothers. And most female dieters -- that's all of us, isn't it?-- will want to know "Why French women suck at competitive eating:" we do, after all, get those dad-blamed women thrown up at us all the time in our struggles with the scale. Rivenbark says, "I`d been inspired by the book "French Women Don't Get Fat," which stresses tiny portions of wonderful things. Inside my body, it was as if a real French woman had taken up residence. I imagined her petulant and puny, even trying desperately to get me to take up smoking again. When I was observing the French Women's Diet, I ate like Nicole Richie sans the Vicodin buffet." Well, evidently, if you've been living in a cave, and somehow don't know who Nicole Richie -- or Britney Spears is, for that matter --and aren't sure what Vicodin does, this book's not for you. "Tant pis,"in that case. That's French for "too bad for you," y'all.

This is a fun, "put a smile on your face" type of book. While reading it, I can hear my friends talking - it reads just like it's one of them, chatting on the phone about their home remodeling, decyphering Harry Potter, moaning about their husbands, etc. And all with a charming Southern drawl that truly conveys the voice of the author. I have looked forward to my evening reading all week with this book - it lightened my mood and made me feel like I was sitting down with a good friend. I look forward to reading more of this author's work.

Belle Weather is very funny. I live in the south, but I think I would have found this funny no matter where I lived. Celia Rivenbark's word portraits (the realtor with Ferragamos and helmet hair, the cheerleader balancing a desire for new make-up with her concern for the poor Tsunamis and their needs, the contractor who looks like Jesus and Tom Cruise in equal measures...) and her forthright words on things like snakes and granite counter tops transcend geography. They may not transcend age or gender. It is possible that men won't find this funny, and also that women too young to care about possums under the house will find it tedious. But that may not be true of the CD version, because the author's performance of the material is exquisite. She has a Deep South drawl, a voice that can turn shrill when the subject warrants it, and amazing timing. Put this in the car for yoru next road trip, even if you are heading North.

Belle Weather has to be the funniest book I've ever had the pleasure of reading! If you are looking for something that will make you laugh out loud until your sides hurt, THIS IS IT!