Being Homosexual: Gay Men and Their Development

I recently completed my MSW and did my fieldwork with the HIV/AIDS population and am currently continuing working with this population. I have come across a great many gay men in my practice and this is singularly the best psychodynamic examination of gay males and the difficulties they often have, particularly those brought on by internalized homophobia. Since homosexuality's removal from DSM was so recent, a great deal of the published material from most of the twentieth century usually views as some kind of faulty inverse Oedipus complex (e.g. Peter Blos.) Of particular interest were Isay's views on Axis 2 disorders, particularly narcissistic personalities. Isay provides a refreshing theoretical approach and was invaluable in both my academic and field work and I plan to purchase my own copy for my future work. Highly recommended.

This book uses a psychological approach to probe the development of gay men and the underlying causes of issues many gay men face. This book is concise, to the point and covers topics including low self-esteem, paternal rejection, relationship difficulties and societal restraints. The chapters are as follows: Chapter 1: What is Homosexuality? Chapter 2: Childhood and Early Homosexual Identity Chapter 3: Fathers and Their Homosexual Sons in Childhood Chapter 4: Adolescence and Young Adulthood of Gay Men Chapter 5: AIDS: The Development of Healthy Gay Men & Homophobia Chapter 6: Lovers and Others: Gay Relationships Chapter 7: The Homoerotic Fantasy of Heterosexual Men and the Question of Bisexuality Chapter 8: Psychotherapy with Gay Men Chapter 9: Society and Gay Men The information is very informative and Richard Isay cites specific behavioral examples from former patients to highlight his points and give the reader insight into the motivation behind those particular men's choices. The book was released in 1989 and while it's true that attitudes and ideas have changed (some for the better, some for the worse) this book has many passages that contain truths that should be remembered. For example: in regards to fathers of gay sons: "If the fathers of homosexual boys were accepting and loving toward them, these children would have a model for loving and caring for other men, a model that has not been traditionally available in our society." In regards to how society views gay men: "The roots of homophobia, as we have seen, lie in the hatred of what is perceived and labeled as feminine in men. In societies where women are subjugated, feared or discriminated against because men feel contaminated or polluted by them, "feminine" character traits in males will be despised." Another passage really captures the essence of how societies view gay men by simply stating, "Our society does not desire to see gay men in stable, responsible, mutually gratifying relationships. Such relationships are still too threatening to the sense of masculinity in most segments of Western culture." Bottom line is I recommend this book to all gay men in addition to reading as many other books as they can find on related topics to gain access to various viewpoints and approaches. While this book uses a psychoanalytical approach, it still offers valuable insights into the development of gay men.