Bedside Manners: A Practical Guide to Visiting the Ill

Just as it is important for medical doctors to havegood bedside manners, so it is equally important for thosewho visit the sick for comfort, prayers, and friendship tomake brief, caring visits. "Do no harm" is the first ruleof medicine and Katie Maxwell has demonstrated that in thisbook. The "BE" attitudes of visiting (chapter one) is a gemof practical suggestions: be open, be respectful, be sensitiveto their needs, and so forth. Both new people making hospital or nursing home visitsand seasoned hospital chaplains, ministers, priests, andrabbis will benefit from this book. We may "know" a lot aboutpsychology or caring, but this book emphasizes "being" presentto the patient in realistic, caring ways. I highly recommend it.

Bedside Manners: A Pactical Guide To Visiting The Ill, By KatieMaxwellThere comes a time when all of us feel a need for betterpeople skills. That time is when we must attend a funeral or visit a sick friend or family member. Bedside Manners is a little book that can help with the latter situation.This is fast reading. The author gets right to the point, using very little in the way of socio-philosophical explanation. This makes for brevity. It is also grounded in common sense. Katie Maxwell is a hospital visitor (pastoral visitor) who has gleaned information not only from her experience, but from patients, nurses, chaplains, and other lay visitors.Beside Manners is based on the author's own experience at American River Hospital in Carmichael, California and its message is supported by prayer and faith (no religious denominations mentioned).It begins with a list of do's and don't's. Some of these suggestions are:Do - Visit before surgery, Touch, Take along your sense of humor, Take your cues from the patient about how long you should stay, Visit quietly out of consideration for the patient's roommates, Keep any information shared with you confidential, Maintain comfortable eye contact (this means eye level, not standing over the bed, Make pleasant conversation,...Do - Check with the nurse before you help the patient out of bed, Be aware of the patient's diet before offering food or drink, Talk about the outside world, Sit close, Knock and receive permission before you enter a room, especially when the door is closed or a curtain is pulled, Be cheerful, Make the patient feel needed, ...Do - Avoid addressing the patient as "honey," "sweetie," Ask how you can help, Avoid probing or rapid-fire questions, Think of your visit as a social visit, not something you are obligated to do, Be sensitive about how you expose your own anxieties, Read to them if they like, Let the patient cry, Affirm their loss whatever it may be, Focus the conversation on the patient, not on your problems, Take a little surprise, End the visit well.Don't - Let the technology become a barrier to your visit, Sit on the patient's bed or an empty bed, Flatter the patient, Take the patient's negativism personally, Get involved in family disputes, Negate their feelings,... Don't - Make promises you can't keep, Tell horror stories or compare illnesses, Finish their sentences for them, Assume anything, Defend God or anyone else, Be judgmental, Wake up a patient, Try to cheer up patients when they really want to talk about how scared they feel.The book also contains insightful information on visiting shut-ins, nursing homes, children, the terminally ill and helping a primary caregiver. An appendix of suggested Scripture readings and an appendix listing support groups for the ill and their caregivers complete this little 112 page gem.