Bad Chili

Wow. Where to begin? If you dont know joe lansdale is I suggest you fly to a bookstore (or website because his stuff is hard to find) and bring your checkbook. Youll need it.I wouldnt feel right if I didn't review one of Lansdales books. As I think he is the best american writer by far writing at this point-probably the world. Basically anything you read by this guy is gonna knock your socks off. Bad Chili is better than anything Elmore Leonard is doing, better than anything Tarantino or these kind of suspense, thriller, shock creators is doing. Simply put his dialogue is so true it hurts, his pacing is faster than the concord, and his plotting is smart and sophisticated.I just hope Hollywood doesnt get a hold of him because theyll rob the soul of his stuff.

After having read Joe R. Lansdale's beautiful and poignant novel, THE BOTTOMS (everybody should read this!), I decided to back track and try some of the books in his 'Hap Collins/Leonard Pine' series, starting with BAD CHILI. I hate to say it, but after just one novel, I'm now addicted to these two fascinating and utterly delightful characters. I found myself laughing so hard in the first four pages of this novel that I started crying and then got stomach cramps. I can't believe it's taken me so long to finally pick up a book by this fantastic author. I must've had my head buried in a hole of sand for the last seven years. What's BAD CHILI about? Well, it's about Hap Collins and Leonard Pine (a couple of schmucks as Leonard would say of himself and his friend) who find themselves getting caught up in the most outrageous and dangerous situations, usually because they're trying to help someone. Hap is white, in his mid-forties, hates violence, dislikes guns, tries to stay within the law, has a bald spot on the back of his head, and is generally the calmer of the two. Leonard is black and homosexual, trained in the martial arts, tougher than any five guys put together, and the first to lose his temper. When Hap returns home after working on an off shore oil rig for several months, he and Leonard go out into the woods to shoot cans and play catch up on each other's life. It isn't long before a big, mean squirrel with rabies comes bouncing out of the woods and chases Hap around the field before finally latching onto his arm. While Hap goes to the hospital, Leonard attempts to find his boyfriend, Raul, who's left him for another man. Both Raul and his new lover end up dead, and Leonard is blamed for their murders. This leads Hap and Leonard on a quest to find out whom the real killer is, not to mention the person behind a sex/video ring who films homosexuals being beat up by several guys and then sexually abused by them. Hap will encounter one of the most dangerous and biggest men he has ever met'a slightly deranged ex-wrestler who likes to apply electricity to a person's genitals before beating them to death with a baseball bat. If Hap thought the squirrel was deadly, waits till he meets Big Man Mountain! BAD CHILI is the most fun I've had with a novel in an extremely long time. I immediately loved the characters of Hap and Leonard, feeling as if these were two guys I'd like to know in real life. I couldn't get enough of the bantering between the two of them. Both men proved to be tough hombres who knew when to cross the line for payback. These are guys you'd want covering your back, or tracking down the killers after you're dead. They're like dogs with a bone that won't let go, no matter what the cost. Hurt them or one of their friends, and they'll track you down to the ends of the earth to get a little helping of revenge. Brett Sawyer, a... nurse, who long ago bonked her husband on the head and then set him on fire, is Hap's new love interest, and s

This novel isn't for prudes or people who can't leave politically correctness behind. For those who appreciate a lot of healthy belly laughs and down-home philosophy ("A Texan's idea of a salad is a few bananas and strawberries inside a mold of lime Jell-O"), then, by all means, read BAD CHILI. Joe R. Lansdale is the male version of Janet Evanovich, and if you've had the pleasure to delight in the humor of Ms. Evanovich, you'll get the message.Hap Collins, a happy-go-lucky loser, and Leonard Pine, a rowdy, gay Black dude, are buddies who have a penchant for running into trouble. Hap, unlike his pal Leonard, is a gentle sort; but when he or his friends are threatened by chumps who "look like they'd twist the heads off parakeets and suck the neck stumps for entertainment," he forgets his nonviolence creed and goes for blood. They, along with Hap's new girlfriend, Brett, are some of the most likeable, funniest, real-life fictional characters in any modern novel. I won't give the plot away. You'll just have to find out for yourselves why I wanted the book to never end.I have just completed my search for the rest (3) of the Hap and Leonard novels, all of which are too short. Mr. Lansdale, you are a proficient writer. From an instant fan: I beg you to please devote more of your time to writing more adventures of the likeable duo and, while you're at it if it's not asking too much, please add two or three hundred extra pages to the future books!

My husband introduced me to this twisted novelist, his characters are Texan w/ out being hicks, and the mystery has you turned everyway but loose. If you don't find something funny or offensive on every other page, then you aren't human and you don't have a funnybone. If you want a change of pace with 2 captivating characters and incredible storylines, then this book won't disappoint. If you're easily offended by deviant sex, vulgar language and gruesome death scenarios, drop this book and run. Otherwise, "Bad Chili" is the bomb!!!

Lansdale does more in one sentence than most could do in three chapters. It pure mmojo, as only Lansdale can do. Fast, hard and speaks the way we all do in real life. And that's just the title characters. Hap Collins and Leonard Pine. In trouble again and deep in suspense mystery for our amusement and edge of your seat story telling. Buy this book. If you don't like, there is something wrong with you.