At the Eleventh Hour: Caring for My Dying Mother

This lovely work truly distinguishes itself from other memoirs about the loss of a parent. Instead of making the author/daughter the "heroine" who rescues her mother and becomes a saint in the process, Susan Stone sees herself in a dynamic where her mother is the teacher as well. This is about Buddhist practice, not just daughterly responsibility. What I like best is how Stone catches herself in moments of arrogance or manipulation that other, less mindful people wouldn't even notice. She walks through the map of her own behavior and responses, and points out what she did, and what she thinks she could have done. Her behavior is quite exemplary, but it is also evident that she had enormous help from a mother who *also* worked very hard to do what was right. The book ends up being an homage to her mother's enlightenment. My own father was dying when someone gave this book to me. My first thought was "Thanks, but I don't need a book to tell me how to feel." When I actually read it, though, I loved it, and learned so much about how to honor my dying father, rather than just focus on my own needs, strengths, and weaknesses. Stone is adept at shifting the focus to the strengths and gifts of the dying parent. It's a beautiful book, and I hope it finds a large audience. [...]

"Once I opened 'At the Eleventh Hour,' I found it hard to put down. I looked forward to returning to it each evening, and when I finished there was sadness for me in saying goodbye to both Susan and her mom. I see the book as a chapter in a mindful life and I look forward to the sequel." Lisa GrinnellKusinaraCenter for Conscious Living & AgingGila, NM

At The Eleventh Hour: Caring For My Dying Mother is author Susan Stone's own story, when the cancer diagnosis of her mother caused her to interrupt her life in a Buddhist monastery to cope with the reality of her mother's impending death. Closeness, loss, sadness and renewal are the hallmarks of this introspective yet warm book. Written with strength, poignant memory, and keen awareness of karma, At The Eleventh Hour is singularly affirming and highly recommended reading for students of Buddhism with respect to issues of death and dying, as well as anyone attempting to cope with the aging and infirmities of their parent's final days.