And You Are Christ's: The Charism of Virginity and the Celibate Life

Although I think that all of Fr. Dubay's books are excellent, this book is one of the best books I have ever read, and indeed the finest book I have ever read on the subject of celibacy for the Kingdom of God. In reading this book, I felt my heart and soul identify with Fr. Dubay's words, written with an eloquence which I could never achieve. As a member of a Secular Institute (for those unfamiliar with the term: being a member of a Secular Institute is having a vocation in the Catholic Church as a lay person - not a religious, priest, brother, sister - who takes the vows of a religious, i.e. poverty, chastity and obedience, but remains a lay person living in the world and living the vows within the context of a lay life), I especially appreciated Fr. Dubay's clarification of "vocation" as being not what one "does" in life (which is what a "career" is), but what one IS in the depths of one's soul, and his explanation of gospel virginity as being a "love affair", as opposed to the world's negative view that it is a "giving up" of something (marriage, sexual intimacy, family life, etc.), or that it is an unhealthy or unnatural way to live. Fr. Dubay explains that everything we search for in life, even so much as a cold drink to satisfy physical thirst, is but an indication of our deeper quest for the Lord, and how a vocation of gospel virginity is not a "giving up" but a fulfillment of our deepest yearnings for God. For the person consecrated to gospel virginity, Fr. Dubay writes of the difference in how we live our lives if we live cognizant of the true nature of our vocation. I think that this book would be an outstanding aid for those who may be struggling to understand their child's/family member's/friend's decision to live a life of gospel virginity. Further, I believe that anyone who feels they are being called to a celibate and chaste lifestyle would benefit by reading this book and gain great insights into why they feel attracted to gospel virginity. Finally, for all those who are living a celibate lifestyle, whether diocesan priest, religious priest, religious brother or sister, nun, or consecrated lay person, this book will be an incalculable affirmation of our chosen lifestyle and love affair with the One who is Love itself.

This is a book that I think could help basically anyone understand better the spiritual reasons for the practice of consecrated celibacy. It has a lot of substance without requiring the reader to be a sophisticated theologian, it is just clear and direct. Celibate chastity ("virginity") is a charism, a gift, and as a choice of a way of life it is an exclusive centering on God as the one essential truth and love of one's entire life. Because of this exclusive gift of self to God, the virgin who lives this life with spiritual integrity and generosity receives from God the grace of a manyfold increase in her/his capacity for charity toward all people. "And You Are Christ's" makes a really excellent statement of the contemplative and apolostolic dimensions of consecrated celibacy, especially in relation to women. It also describes the various kinds of consecration within the Catholic Church, and the signs by which this gift/charism may be known in individuals. This book will be valuable to anyone discerning a call to celibate life, to their families to help them understand this vocation, and to committed celibates to help understand more broadly, deeply, and clearly the reasons for the value of their choice, that they might live it more fully in God's service.

If you're an evangelical Protestant as I am, chances are that you hear very little about Paul's words that some are gifted by God to remain unmarried. We acknowledge Paul's observation, but we only extremely rarely (if at all) think of people as called to a life without marriage. Perhaps making it more difficult for those who are or might be called to such a state, we tend to think in terms of singleness vs. marriage, a juxtaposition that, given our culture, connotes loneliness vs. happiness.Father Dubay challenges this view by arguing that God never calls anyone to singleness, because singleness in and of itself is not a life vocation that enables you to serve others. Instead, God calls some to marriage (serving primarily your family), and some to celibacy (serving others who are not of your family and devoting yourself to Jesus apart from the married state). The difference in terminology between singleness and celibacy might seem like splitting hairs to some, but I think Dubay is on to something in that the terminology we use affects our outlook. Furthermore, his emphasis on directing our lives toward self-giving counteracts the materialistic, self-centered messages from our culture.Within the pages of this book, Dubay gives much advice concerning signs of a call to a celibate vocation, and paints a detailed picture of what a life of celibacy looks like. And Dubay's love for the Lord Jesus Christ shines through on every page he writes.Obviously, this book is more accessible to Catholics than Protestants. However, I found the majority of this book to be quite useful and insightful. (Of course, there will be some points where evangelicals have strong disagreements with Dubay.) A book (as opposed to just a few words or a chapter in a book) is needed to address this subject from an evangelical Protestant perspective. Until then, Dubay's book is a valuable read.

One of the best books on this subject. Every Catholic should read it to have a better understanding of the priests and religious who serve them. Especially good is the explanation of the priest as a bridegroom whose spouse is the Church, in the image of Christ the Bridegroom found in Scripture. Also good is the explanation that "being" precedes "doing." We are valuable in God's eyes because we "are", not because of what we "do," that love falls into the category of "being" rather than "doing" and is the "greatest of these." Also good is the explanation that consecrated life is an image of the life to come, and that it's role in the Mystical Body is to compliment, rather than compete with, the marriage vocation. The section on "compensation compromises" is excellent for any state in life. It explains how we make compromises to compensate or reward ourselves for the sacrifices we make in our vocations. For example, "I am overindulging in (fill in the blank) because I deserve it for the enormous sacrifices I make as a (choose one)priest, sister, wife, husband, mother, father. Wonderful insights. A must read.

Father Dubay's moving and genuinely realistic presentation of the gift of consecrated celibacy takes us beyond the usual stereotypes of celibate life as strictly a means to enhance one's service or show a commitment to community life. Using the classic, solid background which has endured for 2000 years of Christianity, Father Dubay presents a brief but deep exploration of the love, sacrifice, and commitment of vowed chastity, unhampered by trendy or empty references.