An Unfinished Marriage

....reading all the reviews from women who didn't like the book because Joan did something "so selfish" and that a man needs a woman who "adores him and deserves nothing less" - clearly this is not the view of my own successful marriage or those of my younger friends. (I am 34). I was so enthralled with a Year by the Sea that I went to the Cape from MN to personally meet the author and I assure you she is no different than how she writes -straightforward, tells it how it is, very, very intelligent woman who went to Yale. I have also had the pleasure of meeting her husband who is as charming. (Most people think this about my husband as well but I know there are a few flaws). If you are in the backwards land of living to solely "adore" your husband you have no business reading this book or any like it. It simply wouldn't be your cup of tea as a book on "pleasing your man" wouldn't be mine. Thank goodness we are all in America and can have those choices. Mine is to keep reading any and everything this woman has written. Please don't bother rating my review - you have better things to do! :)

An ongoing relationship and an unfinished journey!In 1999, Joan Anderson's book, A Year by the Sea was published to unanimous acclaim. Written primarily as a memoir, the author focused on the year she separated from her husband and lived alone in their Cape Cod cottage. This slim volume spoke volumes to legions of women and quickly became a bestseller. Now in her newest book, An Unfinished Marriage, Anderson continues her story as she reconciles with her husband and he moves to the Cape. Certainly, Joan Anderson took a bold step by separating from her husband to find herself and perhaps in part to add a new dimension to her married life. And while many women who are married for sometime would find this the thought of a solitary year intriguing, Anderson admits it was not always an easy experience. Neither is everything so wonderful during the time Robin and Joan joined together again.For Joan, the reunion is initially fraught with tension and compromise. While Robin has retired and is now seeking a new meaning and purpose to his life, Joan has already found this during her year of solitude. Joan feels crowded by his presence both physically and emotionally. As Anderson also described unearthed emotions in her first book, she continues to reveal her innermost thoughts concerning the changes and growth for them as individuals and as a married couple. Month by month for the year of their reunion, Anderson charts the ups and downs of her marriage and their lives. With total candor and great insight, she presents a vivid look into the inner working of this union. Drawing upon glimpses of their early, married life and their years as parents of two young boys, for many readers these scenes will serve as reminders of their own lives. While at first I was put off by Anderson's thought and words likening them to literary whining, this was short lived as the book intensified with emotions and resolutions. And all at once I came to fully understand the author's desires and wants not only for herself but for the two of them as a couple.I do recommend reading both A Year by the Sea and An Unfinished Marriage. Both books evoke memories of Nan Martin's journey in the fictional title Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg. This is a wonderful renewal of spirit both as a woman and wife. I think that many would agree after reading this book that for Joan and Robin Anderson their journey continues and readers everywhere I imagine will wish them well.

I like both this book and Joan's first book, A Year by the sea. I like her written style and her honesty. When I read this book, I feel my heart beat and try to find out what is going to happen. It is a great book! As a woman, I understand her situation. I feel sorry for her. However, I just wonder how Robin (her husband) thinks of these two books. These two books unveiled their unfinished marriage, just like be naked in front of the public. I don't think I would like my husband to write and published our relationship "in public." And, I also wonder how her grown up children feel about the books? Will they feel comfortable about their parent's "problem" to be known? Will the books help their marriage? Well, I don't know. Probably I will have an answer as soon as Joan publishes her third book.

After reading her amazing book "A Year by the Sea" I was excited to pick up Joan Anderson's latest book "An Unfinished Marriage." From the minute I cracked it open, I was hooked and couldn't put it down. She picked up the story right where she left off in the previous book--her husband was going to retire early and join her at their cottage on Cape Cod. I was very interested to see how their strained relationship would pan out. I was pleasantly surprised to read that, like most marriages, it had its ups and downs. As she shared her experiences and thoughts, I learned a lot about my own marriage along the way. I kept putting myself in her shoes, wondering how I would react in similar situations. Well, I give them both credit for working out their differences and taking a chance on making their marriage work. Sure they have a few kinks to work out, but that's part of the fun, isn't it? I loved reading about their unusual dinner party with friends, their new cottage renovations, and their two-week stint at an isolated dune shack. I can't wait to hear about what happens next. Perhaps she'll write a third installation about becoming a grandmother and the impact that has on her own life and marriage.

Readers who read Anderson's first book, "A Year by the Sea" will find this a beautiful sequel and equally as compelling as her first book. After seeing Anderson on the Oprah show, I was as impressed with the author as I was with her book. In this book, Anderson and her husband reunite after a year apart. The reunion was not without its ups and downs as would be expected after the author's year sabbatical. According to Anderson, she and her husband had to make several changes to avoid making the same pitfalls and mistakes that had caused the couple to drift with a different tide. I particularly enjoyed "their trip to the dump", a learning experience that proved, like many objects we cast away, marriages can also be recycled.Anderson is a down-to-Earth woman who spent considerable time searching for her true self - much of which had been lost in her marriage. In discovering what made her tick, she also discovered a part of her marriage that was worth saving. As a counsellor, I hear so many stories of marriages that lose their spark. Not all marriages can be salvaged or "recycled" and some should not be; however, love is our most powerful emotion - it can overcome all obstacles if we are willing to make the commitment and changes to resolve the issues. Through the pages of this wonderfully inspiring book, many readers, particularly women, will be able to relate to Anderson's tale and perhaps see a little of themselves. The book reminds me of the saying, "If you love something set it free; if it comes back, it is yours; if it does not, it never was." Hats off to Joan Anderson for having the courage and wisdom to take a journey into self-discovery with all the risks involved and the determination to write a book which contains a valuable lesson for women everywhere. The only constant in life is change. If we are not able to go with the changes life throws our way and are not willing to take risks, we will never reach our goals. Hopefully, she and her husband will have many beautiful and enriching years together, and ebb and flow with the same tide.