An Affair of the Mind

This bk was helpful some but then I felt like I often do with some Christian bks! They somehow are not realistic or the situation is too much for them to continue allowing someone to treat them this way but they do! Addiction is tough on ev on! Sometimes you have to let go and move on without a person if nothing has helped! And sometimes this helps ev one!

From the extraodinary comments from other reviewers of this book, its easy to see the value of Laurie Hall's words. Unless you have walked through the devastation of this kind of long-term infidelity in your marriage, you won't get it. If you enjoy pornography as a part of your own life, you won't get it. For those who do get it, this book is a lifeline. Her words are dynamic, vivid descriptions of the emotional wreckage left from discovering sexual addiction's stranglehold on men and the erosion of the marriage relationship. Laurie tracks her emotional and spiritual journey through this hell with stunning honesty. In the midst of my own walk through hell last year, she described EXACTLY where I was in my pain. Other women I know who are going through the same situation say the same thing. We read and re-read her words, and find sanity. The best part in this book is the author's struggle in finding a place in God through the pain. He IS the way through this, and by following in another's footsteps, we can do it, too. She lights the path that would be hard to follow in darkness, and ultimately finds her Redeemer as her hope. I pray that others reading this book will find the same.

I read the review from the person who thought there were no practical guidelines in this book for dealing with the addict. I understand that feeling, and the pain of that hopelessness. But there is a wealth of information in the pages of this book, and a clear blueprint of the process of surviving the impact of porno in your own life. I think I had to read it three times before I accepted what Ms. Hall was saying: This is a battle for the soul of the guy you married - not a fight against *him*, but against the *evil* that's gotten its tentacles into him. And the battle is terrifying, because you have to willingly go into a freefall of faith in God. You have to seperate yourself from the evil, set your parameters, and let The Father go to work. And in my own situation, it *worked*. My marriage was completely dead, my family was destroyed, and we were all the way to divorce court before the evil broke. The journey was wonderful and horrible, exhausting and exhilerating; but, in learning how to truly love - and fight for - my family, God revealed His power in ways that even I, witnessing the events as they unfolded, have trouble comprehending. Miracle after miracle arrived, while I stood by obediently and watched, as the power of loving someone until I ached from the agony resulted in a man who has been broken, cleaned out, and made whole. We are together now, my family is reunited and, for the first time, genuine. There are echoes of the past, and though we are vigilant against evil, it's still tough at times. But so far, so good. So miraculous, actually. Don't discard the wisdom in this book until you've read it a few times, because her advice can feel brutal. But she also gives the recipe for *truly* loving your husband, and saving yourself and your children at the same time. I also cannot recommend strongly enough the book "Bold Love," by Dan Allender. The two should be read together. Love is not about being nice, passively forgiving everything. And loving someone who has lied to you, betrayed you, cheated on you, destroyed your trust in all good things, and has done his level best to hate you - which is what porno is designed to do to the family - feels like the ultimate injustice. But if you can bring yourself to do it anyway, you'll come to understand the love of Jesus Christ in ways you never expected - because you'll be living as He lived. My first review was 8/24/2000. I was furious, agonizing, and hopeless. A new Christian, I might have walked away from it all and found a new guy - like so many women do - if not for this book getting ahold of me. I hope the person who sees no help in its pages will read it a few more times. If only for her own sake.

An Affair of the Mind is the most validating book I have ever read. Reading about Laurie Hall's experiences helped me realize that my feelings were not crazy, but normal for a women married to a sex addict. While Laurie chose a different path than I did or would in her situation ( as far as my marriage was concerned), I found plenty of encouragement and practical help. Laurie helped me see that the end of my marriage was not my fault. This book is a must read for any Christian woman -- divorced, separated from, or still married to a sex addict.

I find that there are few books that impact my life so much as those written by broken people about brokenness. Laurie Hall has written such a book; I found it so encouraging to identify with the emotions and experiences she describes. She is open. She is heartrendingly honest. She holds no punches. For the second time in my life, I cried over a book. An Affair of the Mind reminded me that sexual addiction is a serious, dangerous path for men (and women) to walk. It reminded me that it cannot be ignored, or forgotten, or made light of; addiction must be dealt with, because it is a destroyer of hearts and lives. That includes Laurie's life. Her husband's life. Their childrens' lives. MY life...and so on. Anyone affected by this addiction should read this book. I encourage wives to read it, because they will find encouragement; I encourage husbands to read it because they may begin to see what their addiction has cost their marriage, their family, their entire life. Did I mention you should read this book?

This book is extremely helpful to both women, and men (who need to know the dangers down this road before traveling too far on it). I have recommended it to my wife (she too, has found help here) - and I will also ask my teen-aged daughters to read it. I think each young man should read this book around the time he first starts recognizing the incredible power of sexual urges in his life (I hope they are mature enough to handle it). The author (my heart goes out to her), effectively communicates the problems with the "surface suggestions" that are offered to wives who are effected by their "hooked husbands", and she tells how she has been able to keep her own dignity while helping her husband on his journey out of this quagmire. I have found help for myself in reading this book , ( I have had problems with soft-core porn). This book has helped me understand how this material has negatively impacted my ability to enjoy the optimum relationship with my wife -- that of a REAL PERSON to PERSON RELATIONSHIP - as opposed to the situation where I receive sexual feelings outside of an environment of real interactions with the real person who is giving of herself to interact with me in myriad ways including sex). This book helps me understand the terrible price paid , when I succumb to unbridled lust : the effects this has on my wife and also on myself : not the least of which is how our relationship is hindered from being the best it can be for each of us