Altared: Bridezillas, Bewilderment, Big Love, Breakups, and What Women Really Think about Contemporary Weddings

I'm not part of the target demographic for Altared, since I've never dreamed of "the big day" or really imagined I'd ever get married. So I'm not really sure what drove me to pick it up save for the names of some of my favorite writers, like Lisa Carver. What I liked most about Altared is that it's not just anti-bridal industry or full of horror stories, but features women grappling with both their weddings and the countless issues weddings make us question. Even when the bulk of the essay is about the actual wedding day, the authors manage to say something more profound as well. The authors certainly don't escape their own barbs or criticism, but they are ultimately hopeful and humorous (of her gay wedding, Anne Carle writs: "What I remember is panic, worry, cold feet, and sometimes total and utter numbness. A coworker asked whether I felt like Bridezilla...but I actually felt more like Groomzilla.") Jill Eisenstadt's "To Have or Have Not: Sex on the Wedding Night" looks at a topic I'd never have thought was a question and humorously breaks down the myth that wedding night sex is a triumphant celebration. Even though there's a little bit of repetition about the evils of Bridezilla-mania, wedding magazines, and the like sprinkled throughout the anthology, those pale in comparison to the many diverse and touching stories here, from Anne Carle's "Weddings Aren't Just for Straight People Anymore" to Gina Zucker's tale of crashing her mother's wedding and Samina Ali's tale of two weddings, one arranged marriage, one chosen. Carle's piece also touches on children, who are woven throughout these essays as either future hopeful possibilities or already born family members, but her reasons for not having children with her wife, and instead opening up their circle to a wider community, made her vision of marriage and family quite an expansive one. My favorite section was "Getting Hitched," where Jacquelyn Mitchard gives any fiction writer a reason to believe in the power of words, intuition, and creative visualization in "First, Reader, I Made Him Up, and Then I Married Him." What's interesting is how for many of these women marriage and their weddings seemed to sortof spring up, rather than be endlessly plotted, making them aware only at the last minute that they have specific ideas and dreams for their big day (as do their mothers). There's a kind of lackadaisical approach, at least at the beginning, that immediately sets them at odds with their more perfection-focused peers. As they explain just when the hysteria sets in, or wryly laugh at their own ability to get sucked in, such as Janelle Brown's "The Registry Strikes Back," they show that while weddings are events that are planned (even in very brief spurts of time), part of the process can still sneak up on you. Lisa Carver's uniquely solitary approach in her trademark style (she starts her essay thusly: "For me, getting married has always been like throwing up. I do it as alone as possible, feel

This collection of real life stories is absolutely hilarious! Almost every story leaves you chuckling a little at the rediculousness that is the wedding industry and our society. I think I could relate to something in almost every story as well. I am giving it to my sister in law who is recently engaged to help her see what people go through that she is not alone and hopefully show her how rediculous things can be and to not let it get out of control.

so many books about weddings are either a collection of soul-tearing "honey do" lists or mind-numbing pablum (nobody is actually a princess and there are more important days in all of our lives). to find actual literature that demands thoughtfullness and reflection is like manna from heaven. altared is an eclectic collection, well culled and perfectly edited. don't buy this book instead of looking at martha stewart's website. curl up with it when you need a break.

I swear I have a hundred female friends who are getting married in the next year (or hoping to!), and now I've found the perfect gift to give to all of them for their bridal showers (real or imaginary). Every experience a you could have as a past, present, or future bride is well documented here with wit and grace from an amazing collection of writers. After reading a few essays, you begin to see quite clearly why the process of getting married makes us crazy. But more importantly, and this seems to be the overall message of the book, however insane your wedding may make you feel, you aren't alone! Countless brides before you have experienced the same trials and tribulations, joys, disappointments, and blessings you will. For brides-to-be, Altared is like a reassuring best-friend, who happens to tell stories both hilarious and heart-wrenching.

a great book to give any betrothed lady in your life - this book captures so many of the heartwarming and gutwrenching moments built into the process of getting hitched. not just for the girly-girl, but for the anti-bride, the indie-bride, the never-gonna-get-married-bride and the unengaged-dying-to-find-the-right-one bride-to-be! a wonderful read!