Aikido in Everyday Life: Giving in to Get Your Way

As an aikido student, I found that this book has brought a new dimension to my practice as well as my ability to handle conflict in personal relationships. It incorporates the principles of aikido in dealing with conflict in relationships. I recommend this book for any aikidoist who wants to enhance his or her practice, or anyone who is interested in learning how to deal with conflict in ways other than fight or flight.

Through out my life I have approached conflict in much the same way this book teaches. However, after reading it I found that I was missing some things that have since helped me a great deal. The whole topic of Aiki is worth the cost of the book alone. I was skeptical while reading it, for example it would appear Terry Dodson wants you to deceive by common definition (I believe a definition based on emotional feelings many of us have because of our own experiences with being deceived)...but this is not the case. The same is true for Aiki. It's not about agreeing with the opponent(s) or changing what you believe. It's about understanding them and knowing that to bring about harmony you have to communicate WITH the other person, which may not be the way you would communicate to someone like yourself. If I read this book in my early 20's I would have thrown it away. But as I understand people and myself better I'm beginning to see that it's not my beliefs or ideas that are/where wrong, it was my approach and how I interacted with others (especially those attacking me). It's not about who is right and who is wrong. Harmony is far more important. With out harmony, the facts and who is `right' can lose all meaning.This book is for everyone, not just for those practicing Aikido. I highly recommend giving it a chance.

I've used this book both personally and professionally in both a hospital and a university counseling environment ever since the book first came out in hardback back in the 70's. Granting some of the complaints of previous reviewers, the examples Dobson gives are now a bit out of date (Dobson cannot update them; he died a few years ago), but I have yet to have a college student fail to make his or her own update with little problem. Contrary to some of the negative reviewers' comments, I personally have found the book extremely useful, and so have the majority of the people I have introduced the book to over the years. I've especially had a number of university students tell me the book was very useful in helping them deal with their problematic professors, parents, girlfriends or boyfriends. Possibly some of the negative reviewers were hampered by the fact that they were reading the book all by themselves, without any counseling assistence or prior aikido training to help them fully orient to the concepts presented in the text. Without a doubt, the "geometry of conflict" theory presented in the book is sometimes quite arcane to the uninitiated. Nonetheless, the writing style is friendly, conversational and-- I find-- entertaining. As a supplement to Dobson, I also recommend people read "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" by Manuel Smith-- the original assertiveness training book. With a little creative thought and persistent practice, the techniques in both of these books are extremely useful. Not magic, not a quick fix, but the techniques work if you work at them.

I also picked up this book after skimming several Aikido technique manuals. What a pleasant surprise to find out that this book ultimately has little to do with physical techniques. I've used Dobson's "Conflict Options" several times since my first read. With all sincerity these really work. His explanation of conflict options, with the addition of "AIKI" as a "technique" to address an attack, have actually enhanced my interpersonal relationships, i.e. work and most importantly, at home. This book has more to do with psychology, geometry, and education than with what you may think about martial arts. Yet the conflict options can also be used in a physical setting as well. Find this book somewhere, it's a keeper!

I picked up a copy of this book at a local yard sale thinking it would be filled with Aikido techniques . I got more than I bargained for and still can't figure out why anyone would even let go of it once they had read it. It has changed my life. Dobson/Miller put the idea of conflict and how to deal with it into its proper perspective. The techniques are not only informative but extremely practical. I began to use the philosphy of blending with attack immediatly. The results are that I am able to difuse angry situations quickly and build meaningful relationships with those around me. The explanations are clear and concise. I have since embarked on Aikikai Aikido Training. Thank you Dobson/Miller for your gift