Aftershock: Help, Hope and Healing in the Wake of Suicide

We lost our son in June (2007) to suicide. He was 16. This is the #1 resource we have used so far to help us make it through these dark days. Grief is not something you "go through" or "heal" from..... it is something that becomes a permanent part of your being. It is like growing a new and unfamiliar body part. You must let it become part of you and rely on God to learn how to accept it. Thank you SO much to the authors for knowing how important this was to write. IDEA: I read this book 3 times before fully digesting it. The third time, I highlighted certain parts that I felt were pertinent to my son. I also wrote notes in the margins. Next, my mother read it (in one night, cover to cover).... and used a different colored highlighter and also wrote notes in the margins. We have now passed it onto his best friend who is doing the same.... with a different colored highlighter. It is our way of sorting through my son's very complicated brain and trying to make sense of his death. It is a structured method of sharing our knowledge of him, and why on Earth he chose death over life. It has truly helped all of us. My husband will read it at some point, and someday our younger children will read it.... with the wisdom and knowledge from those of us who knew and understood their brother the best. I highly HIGHLY recommend this book. I don't think I would be doing this well (not that I am doing great!) at this point without it. God's truth and wisdom in my darkest days. Jennifer

This is an incredibly helpful book for which, sadly, there long has been a tremendous need. How I wish it had been available thirty or forty years ago. Silence too often follows suicide, which only delays and compounds the challenges of grieving such a loss. The authors rightly stress how vital it is that survivors talk about what has happened. This book is a powerful aid and encouragement in doing so. The earthquake metaphor works beautifully throughout; surely one's landscape is forever changed after a suicide, and in its aftermath it takes a long time for survivors to feel safe. Of the myriad after effects of suicide - including survivor guilt, fear and societal suspicion - all are eloquently articulated. The book's contents are broken up into manageable bites for readers who may be able to focus for short periods. The section on how to talk to children about suicide (and the importance of honesty) was particularly moving and very clear and helpful. Several personal stories are interspersed throughout the text and the variety of voices and perspectives enriches what is already an invaluable book. This is the book I will put into the hands of both survivors and those who want to offer the sort of help that is most needed.

Anyone who counsels others should have this book in their library before it's needed. Dr. Cox knows first hand what it's like to be left behind after a family member completes suicide. When he was only nine-years-old, his father killed himself, leaving a confused, angry little boy. Other stories illustrate the book as he and Ms. Arrington help readers learn the signs that a loved one may be contemplating suicide, with a chapter dedicated to exploring teen depression and suicide. They compassionately guide readers and give them hope for rebuilding their lives when a loved one does indeed commit suicide.

David Cox and Candy Arrington have written a long-needed book. For decades, suicide has been the death no one talks about. AFTERSHOCK dispels the many misconceptions about suicide, including the belief that people who talk about suicide usually don't follow through. Or that when depression lifts, suicide is no longer a concern. The earthquake analogy used thoughout the book is fitting. Like an earthquake, suicide leaves immediate devastation; its damaging effects are strongest at the "epicenter," the family; and aftershocks continue to be felt. The aftershocks of suicide, the authors say, are isolation, anger, guilt, rejection, betrayal, grief, and loss. AFTERSHOCK explains how to deal with each of these emotions.Especially important is the section on explaining a death by suicide to children. Suggestions for suicide intervention and for starting a support group of survivors of suicide are also included. Chapter 3 contains excellent advice for recognizing the symptoms of suicidal behavior in teens and responding effectively.The authors use the term survivor as a person who has lost a friend or loved one to suicide and also as someone who has attempted suicide and failed. Both will find practical help and Biblically-based encouragement in AFTERSHOCK. Pastors and counselors will also benefit from reading this exceptional book.

How do survivors of suicide escape feelings of guilt, fear, frustration, abandonment, and anger? How do they begin to heal and rebuild your life? AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide is a resource to help start the process. This book contains stories of real people who are survivors of suicide. Their losses, struggles, and triumphs will teach others. AFTERSHOCK will walk with survivors on a journey - a path they did not choose. Each year millions of lives are affected when individuals from all socio-economic levels, ethnic groups, and religions take their lives by suicide.AFTERSHOCK is easy reading, full of helpful information, not only for suicide survivors but those around them. Readers will be encouraged and reminded that they are not alone in their grief. Your connection to suicide may not be the personal loss of a loved one, but you want to understand and minister to someone dealing with a suicide loss. In AFTERSHOCK, Cox and Arrington will give you practical ways to help. AFTERSHOCK will also provide clues to suicidal thought patterns and behaviors so you can act as an intervener or know when you need to get in touch with professionals. I definitely recommend this book, both as informational reading and as a resource to have on your shelf.